I have never
written maintained a diary so far. I did once try when I was in school... But then I got lazy to re-write the entire days story in a book. (Usually my days were not that exciting... just the usual... being thrown out of the class... kneel down for passing jokes on girls...etc. etc...) Who wants to write that eh?? (Now i feel i should have tried. would have been fun :)
But I did write in it sometimes. I don’t remember any specific occasions hence the expression sometimes. Whenever I was in mood..!! Take it that way... I used to write in it.
NEWS FLASH: I have a sister. For all of you who are like so what..?? Eh?? Huh?? Expressions... let me repharse it agian... I HAVE A SISTER. WORST... AN ELDER ONE. Still nothing??
Okie dokie... read my post THE KARATE KID. And come back.
Read that ?? (dropped some comments..?? no..?? go back and do it..!!! oh, you did.. good...good... continue) NOW got it??? Ya... my sister was my worst nightmare. (Then. now... forever...! though we pretend that we have called truce... she is just like
Shitler Hitler... can attack anytime.)
Being the youngest and with my track record of causing/staying away from trouble... my parents were (in this case...) on her side... (Read joined forces with her)
Now I don’t know... I dont exactly remember when... but on my worst day (I suppose) and with a mood to write... I did write myself a few set of rules that would keep me away from trouble. (P.S: she used beat the shit outta me...!)
And it was while cleaning my old boxes in the store room, and checking for some comics to read when I landed up on this baby..!!! MY DIARY..!! I flipped the pages and laughed out loud. Okay... am sorry... there was nothing funny... I cried actually... it had a bloody narration...there was everything one could ask for... pain... brutality...violence... punishment..Bad spellings (come on... I was writing in a diary... it doesn’t come with spell check features and spellings was never my strong point either.) and worst of all.. my pathetic handwriting.
Out of all the entries I had made... this one particular entry was funny... (No...No... seriously...trust me I laughed reading this...!! or maybe i felt it funny.. could have been that way too)
Hence I am sharing it with you... IT WAS A SET OF RULES... whenever I have tried breaking these and did what-was-asked-not-to in this.. I have been beaten up by her... (Attempted murder type beating) so hope you understand...
These were my code of HAMMURABI :) ACTUALLY HER CODE...FOR ME TO FOLLOW..!!! *rising drum roll beats*
Okay... here we go... (Plz... fake a laugh in case it’s not funny. Type some lolzz..Heart symbols... would make me happy :))
RULES TO TALK TO MY SISTER
Last updated on august 1997
1. DONT TALK TO HER WHEN SHE IS CRYING..!!!
Tried. Got slapped. Twice actually
2. WHEN SITUATION COMES, SHE CAN CHANGE ANY RULES WRITTEN HERE. JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO HER.
Basically the point was to avoid arguing with her... can lead to injuries.
3. FOR MORE QUERIES AND SITUATION HANDLING TIPS, ASK ROSHINI.
Her then bff... (they dont talk now...!!!) always the one who knew what she wanted to hear and when...! I wondered at her expertise... something I could never master even after staying with her so long.
4. REMEMEBER ROSHINI'S PHONE NUMBER IF SHE FORGETS. IF YOU DONT KNOW SHUT UP AND DONT CONFUSE.
Those the days phone meant landline.. not cellphones.. she was bad with numbers... then and even till date. She doesn’t remember phone numbers... even today... she gets confused with her own no. thanks to cell phone's phone book... else I wonder how it would have been.. Ok coming back... she used to say the phone number to herself before dialing and I had a habit of inserting one or two number in the middle just for fun... she used to go red when it used to go to a wrong number and then.. What would happened... by now you can assume...!
5. WHEN SHE IS TENSED, NO MATTER WHATEVER SHE SAYS, SAY YES TO YES AND NO TO NO. END STATEMENTS WITH WOW CHECHEE... YOU ARE SO BRILLIANT.
Oh, ya... she was a sucker for compliments and dumb as...well beyond comparison...! I think her dumbness was/is directly proportional to her temper.
6. NEVER EVER USE HER DUPPATTA FOR CLEANING.
hehehehehehe.. ya.. I did that.. :) was pissed off with her and tried it.. was caught in act and then.. dhissum dhissum.. ammaaaaaa... bang..kapow.. appaaaaaa..!!! happened. :(
7. BE READY... BE ALWAYS READY TO LAUGH... BECAUSE SHE CAN CRACK A JOKE ANYTIME.
An expert in cracking pj's, (I wonder where did that talent come from..??? ) she used to get offended when ones doesn’t laugh at her jokes.. sadly nobody used to get it and since I was her punching bag.. I would have to face the brunt, hence when in group, and she cracked a joke....I used to initiate the laugh. Some would follow (many wouldn’t even know that she ended it)... and there she used to sit and gleam proudly at her sense of humor
8. DONT STAMP HER CHAPPALS. SHE DOESNT LIKE IT. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR'S IS DIRTY..!!!
A Self-explanatory rule... she was obsessed with footwear... and if by chance I happened to stamp any of those... the result was catastrophic...!
9. THE GOLDEN RULE: LEARN TO ACCEPT MISTAKES. EVEN WHEN IT’S NOT YOURS.
She had a strange illusion that she was always right. break that bubble and face the wrath. simple... so when you find a mistake... embrace it to avoid physical pain...!
10. BEWARE OF HER GENRAL KNOWLEDGE.
The most important of all rule. I'll explain with an example.. I once convinced her that equinox is a day when sun rises from the west. showed her the dates on calendar and said it happens only twice a year.. now I am not making this up... she got up early to watch this amazing sight of sun rise from west..!!!! now you get it when I say she was dumb..!!! so never take her GK quotes seriously.. half of them are what I used to say to her to make her look like a complete fool..!!
That’s it... 10 rules... boy... I miss my childhood... it was fun... time changed everything... we grew up... my sister is now a responsible wife and a proud mother of a baby girl. But somethings never change... ya... still dumb as a log... oh ya... that would be right... dumb as log.. or who knows maybe worse :)
Let me know your views... comments... experiences with your sibling..!!!