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Sunday, 11 September 2011

First Love..!!!

It was a late afternoon while I was sitting in the café, trying to reading a journal to find a suitable problem statement for my thesis for my Master’s degree when I saw two So-smitten-in-love couple walk in. It reminded me of the time i was in love too. But most of all it reminded me the first time i fell in love. the first time my heart broke when she left. I thought I wouldn't live through the agony.

I still remember the first time I saw her. I was in 5th standard then. The family had newly moved in the house adjacent to our building. I looked at her standing outside the gate and at that very moment I knew I was in love with her. There were people moving stuffs into the house but she was standing underneath the big Banyan tree's shade. Sunlight through the leaves gleamed on her. The most wonderful creation I ever saw in my whole life. Silently watching everything.

And from then on… began the unending pain in my little heart. I used to yearn to just have a glimpse of her every single day. She was in my prayers, my dreams, and my heart and all over my mind. There were times at school when I just wished to rush back home to have a look at her. Everyday morning when I used to wait for me school bus, I used to look towards her gate. They had a driver, who used to take the kids to school. I used to see her pass through my stop every day. I just wished she knew me. At least that the fact that I was looking at her. Guess she dint even know my existence.

It all changed one day. I still remember that Sunday. We kids from the building were playing cricket outside, when I saw her coming. They had been out I suppose. Everybody went inside except her. She stood outside the gate. I felt as if she was watching me. I was lost with all these thoughts when one boy who was batting hit the ball so hard that it flew and hit her. I panicked. I started running towards her. Was she hurt? I was quite shocked, angry and at pain.

But the by time I reached her, people from within came out and saw what had happened. It was the driver who had come out and saw what had happened. He caught hold of me and was about to slap me hard when I heard Aunty from inside asking him to stop. She came near me and asked if he hit me? I said no. I immediately apologized and said that we dint mean to and that it was an accident. She smiled and said it was ok and asked us to be careful. She asked the driver to take my love inside while she was talking to me.
For the next few days, I dint see her at all. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t concentrate. Anytime I heard any vehicle park next to my building I used to rush out to the balcony to see if it was her. I was hopeless.
One day while coming back from the grocery shop, I casually stuck a conversation with our building’s watchman. While talking to him I simply put out the topic if he had seen the family who lived next door. He said that they were here only for a while and that they would be leaving tomorrow. My heart sank.

I was in love. And she was leaving tomorrow. I dint even have a chance to say that I love her. I dint even get a chance to hold her. I couldn’t think of anything else other than her in my life. If ever god had asked me that day (as a matter of fact, even today if god asked me) what I wanted, my answer would have been only her.
The next day evening, I saw the packer come. Things were being slowly moved into the moving van. I was watching it all from outside. And then I saw her come outside. She was standing outside. I don’t know what got into me, I ran out. Crossed the road. Stood in front of her house. I saw the lovely aunty look at me and smile. I walked in and casually wished her and said thank you for being so nice to me that day. She gave a little kiss on my check and asked me to be a good boy. As I walked out the house, I stood near the gate. She was still standing outside facing the moving truck. I walked close to her.

The street light shone her. She seemed so out of the world. I walked silently and stood next to her. I dint speak a word. There was so much I wanted to tell but I couldn’t. it was like time froze. I knew it was getting late and she would go away forever and nothing I could say would make her stay. I was not even sure if I could tell her how much she meant to me and how much I loved her. Time was running out. The packers had moved everything. I saw the family coming out. I was still standing next to her.
I looked at her for the last time. There was a silent smile on her face as if she knew I how I felt about her. A smile that said that she was made to fall in love with and it was hard for anybody not to. A pity ? or was it a smile of i-feel-the same-about-you kinda smile ?? I was confused. I went close to her and whispered “Someday..Someday... Just you and me.. Will be together. I promise.” I kissed her and ran across the street. Back to my building. I dint run inside. I watched her from far. The driver sat inside and so did the rest of the family. And drove her away…!! My first love.. a dark blue colored BMW.

I saw her take a turn across the street and then go away forever. I wiped my tears off and made promise to  myself. I promised myself that I will buy myself a BMW. 
Someday.. Someday.. just me and her… will be together.. forever..!! 
Even now whenever I see a BMW, my heart skips a beat..!! and I so so reailse how much I am still in love with her. that I will never forget her. After all.. First Love IS First Love. 

Soooo.. what do you think ????? huh ?? huh ?? huh ??? :)


  1. I was gonna comment something like this "5th STANDARD BOY and having such a RHOMAANTIC PHOOL blossoming inside"..but then the BMW part hit me...

    As i dont blame you. She is a true beauty..but nothing like my hunk.....The ROLLS ROYCE GHOST :D

  2. D'awww, I don't think I really remember my crushes from that long ago. :P

  3. I have always believed that us guys NEVER forget our first love.

    I had mine in Grade 8. She's in Vancouver these day. Hope I'll meet up with her once gain =D
    Best of luck to both of us ^_^

  4. @Red Handed : Ahhhaaaa.. the Ghost eh ?? aint that something..!! btw Rolls-Royce Motor Cars, manufacturer of Rolls-Royce automobiles since 1999,is a BMW subsidiary :) :) So we are kinda in the same boat...!!!

    DWei : Well, even i dont.. but BMW is one awsome beauty that you cant forget even if you want to :) :) Cheers mate..!!

    HBL : Yessss.. We never ever ever never forget our first love.. (no matter how much we denty to sound cool ) Inshallah you will meet her man... i am sure.. and i will own a BMW..!! :) :) Best of luck for Both of us :)

    @Rv*Sharma : Hello..!! Welcome to Devil's workshop :) thank you so much..!! you have a wonderful blog too..!! loved it :)

  5. lol...and you hav so many BMW's to choose from...i hope it does not mean Big Motherly Women...:)

  6. LOL..!!!! SSSShhhhh.. not so loud dude.. thats supposed to be a secret..!!! hahahhhahaha..:) :)
    but no.. i meant The BMW with 4 wheels.. rest will come only after that :D

  7. haha...nice one...I was going to say that the post reminded me of a movie "Little Manhattan"..until the last part... :)

  8. @Kunal : hahhahahaahaa...!!! hanks a lot buddy.. glad you liked it.. i liked your devils workshop too :P

  9. aww! thnk u so much ..!!! :)
    cheers ;)