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Wednesday 14 September 2011

CODE OF HAMMURABI..!!!


I was never a diary writing guy...!!!
I never used to write a diary.

I have never written maintained a diary so far. I did once try when I was in school... But then I got lazy to re-write the entire days story in a book. (Usually my days were not that exciting... just the usual... being thrown out of the class... kneel down for passing jokes on girls...etc. etc...) Who wants to write that eh?? (Now i feel i should have tried. would have been fun :)
But I did write in it sometimes. I don’t remember any specific occasions hence the expression sometimes. Whenever I was in mood..!! Take it that way... I used to write in it.

NEWS FLASH: I have a sister. For all of you who are like so what..?? Eh?? Huh?? Expressions... let me repharse it agian... I HAVE A SISTER. WORST... AN ELDER ONE. Still nothing??
Okie dokie... read my post THE KARATE KID. And come back.



Read that ?? (dropped some comments..?? no..?? go back and do it..!!! oh, you did.. good...good... continue) NOW got it??? Ya... my sister was my worst nightmare. (Then. now... forever...! though we pretend that we have called truce... she is just like Shitler  Hitler... can attack anytime.)
Being the youngest and with my track record of causing/staying away from trouble... my parents were (in this case...) on her side... (Read joined forces with her)

Now I don’t know... I dont exactly remember when... but on my worst day (I suppose) and with a mood to write... I did write myself a few set of rules that would keep me away from trouble. (P.S: she used beat the shit outta me...!)

And it was while cleaning my old boxes in the store room, and checking for some comics to read when I landed up on this baby..!!! MY DIARY..!! I flipped the pages and laughed out loud. Okay... am sorry... there was nothing funny... I cried actually... it had a bloody narration...there was everything one could ask for... pain... brutality...violence... punishment..Bad spellings (come on... I was writing in a diary... it doesn’t come with spell check features and spellings was never my strong point either.) and worst of all.. my pathetic handwriting.

Out of all the entries I had made... this one particular entry was funny... (No...No... seriously...trust me I laughed reading this...!! or maybe i felt it funny.. could have been that way too)
Hence I am sharing it with you... IT WAS A SET OF RULES... whenever I have tried breaking these and did what-was-asked-not-to in this.. I have been beaten up by her... (Attempted murder type beating) so hope you understand...
These were my code of HAMMURABI :) ACTUALLY HER CODE...FOR ME TO FOLLOW..!!! *rising drum roll beats*

Okay... here we go... (Plz... fake a laugh in case it’s not funny. Type some lolzz..Heart symbols... would make me happy :))

RULES TO TALK TO MY SISTER
             Last updated on august 1997

1. DONT TALK TO HER WHEN SHE IS CRYING..!!!
Tried. Got slapped. Twice actually

2. WHEN SITUATION COMES, SHE CAN CHANGE ANY RULES WRITTEN HERE. JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO HER.
Basically the point was to avoid arguing with her... can lead to injuries.

3. FOR MORE QUERIES AND SITUATION HANDLING TIPS, ASK ROSHINI.
Her then bff... (they dont talk now...!!!) always the one who knew what she wanted to hear and when...! I wondered at her expertise... something I could never master even after staying with her so long.

4. REMEMEBER ROSHINI'S PHONE NUMBER IF SHE FORGETS. IF YOU DONT KNOW SHUT UP AND DONT CONFUSE.
Those the days phone meant landline.. not cellphones.. she was bad with numbers... then and even till date. She doesn’t remember phone numbers... even today... she gets confused with her own no. thanks to cell phone's phone book... else I wonder how it would have been.. Ok coming back... she used to say the phone number to herself before dialing and I had a habit of inserting one or two number in the middle just for fun... she used to go red when it used to go to a wrong number and then.. What would happened... by now you can assume...!

5. WHEN SHE IS TENSED, NO MATTER WHATEVER SHE SAYS, SAY YES TO YES AND NO TO NO. END STATEMENTS WITH WOW CHECHEE... YOU ARE SO BRILLIANT.
Oh, ya... she was a sucker for compliments and dumb as...well beyond comparison...! I think her dumbness was/is directly proportional to her temper.

6. NEVER EVER USE HER DUPPATTA FOR CLEANING.
hehehehehehe.. ya.. I did that.. :)  was pissed off with her and tried it.. was caught in act and then.. dhissum dhissum.. ammaaaaaa... bang..kapow.. appaaaaaa..!!! happened. :( 

7. BE READY... BE ALWAYS READY TO LAUGH... BECAUSE SHE CAN CRACK A JOKE ANYTIME.
 An expert in cracking pj's, (I wonder where did that talent come from..??? ) she used to get offended when ones doesn’t laugh at her jokes.. sadly nobody used to get it and since I was her punching bag.. I would have to face the brunt, hence when in group, and she cracked a joke....I used to initiate the laugh. Some would follow (many wouldn’t even know that she ended it)... and there she used to sit and gleam proudly at her sense of humor

8. DONT STAMP HER CHAPPALS. SHE DOESNT LIKE IT. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR'S IS DIRTY..!!!
 A Self-explanatory rule... she was obsessed with footwear... and if by chance I happened to stamp any of those... the result was catastrophic...!

9. THE GOLDEN RULE: LEARN TO ACCEPT MISTAKES. EVEN WHEN IT’S NOT YOURS.
She had a strange illusion that she was always right. break that bubble and face the wrath. simple... so when you find a mistake... embrace it to avoid physical pain...!

10. BEWARE OF HER GENRAL KNOWLEDGE.
The most important of all rule. I'll explain with an example.. I once convinced her that equinox is a day when sun rises from the west. showed her the dates on calendar and said it happens only twice a year.. now I am not making this up... she got up early to watch this amazing sight of sun rise from west..!!!! now you get it when I say she was dumb..!!! so never take her GK quotes seriously.. half of them are what I used to say to her to make her look like a complete fool..!!


That’s it... 10 rules... boy... I miss my childhood... it was fun... time changed everything... we grew up... my sister is now a responsible wife and a proud mother of a baby girl. But somethings never change... ya... still dumb as a log... oh ya... that would be right... dumb as log.. or who knows maybe worse  :)


Cheers..!!! :)

Let me know your views... comments... experiences with your sibling..!!!


12 comments:

  1. God. I have a sister.
    She's... Well... The devil.
    She put me and my family through hell. :(

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  2. Ohh well, it looks like your sister used to be a tough girl hahahah all those rules, it sounds like the 10 commandments of a caribbean dictator.
    Also, i had to google what a duppatta was (i'm sorry, i had no idea).

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  3. Ok...i have something to blog about now. *Luks at blood clot on above her collar bone*. Its a victory mark of me defeating my brother. I am 8 yrs elder than him and now he is twice my height and has bones stronger than a hammer. But i win ALWAYS. epic no? So i dont beat him up until he does something which hurts my female ego and i have the habit of never crying before him.Pride!

    He hates me man but he got me anyway so holds on.Cute he is. U shud read my post titled 'The one i hate' to know more.

    The list was Bwahahahahha! U call her hitler, while my brother refers to me as The Britisher. He tells his friend ''The britisher is coming back to India, to take my independence away'' everytime i go home for a vacation.

    But i have spoilt him too.
    I shall read the other post,when i go online from my Laptop. Phone net sucks camel balls!

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  4. My sister is just four years elder to me. And we grew up just like any other sisters- fighting, arguing, bitching, playing, loving.. I used to try to read her diary. We used to play cricket inside our small little flat with a diary and rubber ball. :) We used to fight like crazy over the phone, because she used to be on it all the time and I would never get to use it.I would borrow her clothes even though they were big for me. She used to take me around everywhere on her kinetic, even when she went out for movies with her friends..

    And then.. then we just grew up... She left for higher studies and work. We're still close, but it's a different kind of closeness.. She pampers me to death, buys me whatever I ask for.

    She's the best sister in the whole wide world. :)

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  5. So are you going to click the polka dotted picture and put it up for us to have a laugh :P

    I smiled all the way through your post. Has anyone told you that you really know how to cheer up a person? :) If not, then let me tell that to you! :) You are amazing! And you and your blog make me smile all the time :D

    I used to write diaries too. But then my sister(elder) got hold of it..and then I became a laughing stock :P Now I prefer not writing one :D My diaries were filled with shit about her too :) But now that we're growing up, our bond has become strong. We get along :P I never thought we would! :P

    I loved the post :) Totally. You are awesome. Seriously :)
    Put up more of your dairy entries :D
    Waiting for your next posts! :) Take Care!

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  6. Ayyoooo Pavam :P I single but I can empathize :D Buwahaha, you actually tried cleaning with her duppatta? :D Wait, till your sister reads this :P


    Amazing post. :D

    P.S - I love writing diaries and then burning them :P

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  7. And OI ALWAYS laugh at any girls jokes :P We get offended very quickly. Even if the joke is bad, just laugh ogay ? :D

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  8. what the hell.. you write too much too fast and too well.. :D I am down with high fever.. cant go through much.. just opened my dashboard and there you have posted so many posts already.. Goddamn.. I will have to sit with your blog sometime soon and read from all the posts where its unread.. *PHEW*

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  9. @Ananya : heyyy.. how are you feeling now ??? Get Well soon.. all my recent posts have been missing your comments..!! so get well soon..!! :) :)

    @DawnZhang :Well..Yes. i did try..!! and i regretted it as soon as she caught me :) and ya.. now.. even i laugh at all jokes.. i have mastered the art of PJ's too..!! pretty awsome I'll tell you :)

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  10. @ MDIAS : Oh.. I always thought my sister was devil reincarnated..!! she had made my childhood a hell..!!! but we are quite close now.. there is nothing in this world that I love more than her :)

    @Hasidic Plumber : You have no idea..!! she was more than a Dictator..!! a brutal one too.. Read my THE KARATE KID Post and you get a picture of things..!!!

    @RED :WOW.. 8Years ??? Me and my sister were just 3 years apart but that dint stop her..!! :) am sure you would have made your brother's life a living hell.. I was never supposed to hit her back.. that was the house rule... so only i had violent memories, scars etc.. she was/is the princess at home


    @ Spaceman Spiff : I get it..!! things changed when we grew up.. all the tormants apart there were beautiful memories with her too.. maybe I'll write about them too :) i felt bad when she was getting married.. there was a time when we used to come back home from college for vacations and sit and talk all night long..!! and on the contrary to you and your sister.. I am the one who always pampers her.. SHe always takes away my chocolates like its her right and even till date expects me to buy her couple of bars when I go visiting her..!! My elder-kid sister..!! :)

    Philo : I seriously dont know what to say..??? i mean you have always been have sweet and generous with your comments and this by far is the best comment i have received so far.. I am so so glad that you enjoy what ever I have written.. made me feel good... honestly i never expected any followers when I started writing.. and when I read your comment I was overwhelmed..!!

    Sure.. I will write more of my diary entries.. most of them are cranky.. but hey.. you asked for it and so shall be it..!! :)
    Plus.. thank you for the polka dotted idea.. watch out for the post's sequel.. will have you too in it..!! and About photo.. well you never know.. I might do it too someday :) :) :P

    P.S :In short : Your are the best and write Beautifully and hey,.. this is turning out to be a blog post rather than a comment but you deserve much more :) Thank you

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  11. Cool Blog dude........:) Enjooyed..i feel i am in different world when i am in this blog :)

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  12. @Prakhyath : Hello there.. Welcome to the Devil's workshop..!!! am so glad you liked it.. hope to see more of you.. do keep visiting :)

    Cheers..!!

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shasaboeyyyyy...!!!!!