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Wednesday, 30 November 2011

THE CURSE OF THE PIMPLE QUEEN..!!!


It has been difficult days in the blogosphere. Dark clouds of exams and deadlines had slowly taken over all the fun. Everybody seemed to have had hibernated. I dint know what to do, I wished things would be fun again. Things were turning into a chaos of mental proportions with everybody drifting away. So in order to find a solution for this, I went in search of a way to bring back the peace. Since nobody was willing to sponsor my trip to all the exotic locations, hotel stays and indulgence in some exquisite food, slightly disheartened yet determined, I decided that I shall carry out this journey in my sleep and search for the secret scroll in my dreams. (Well, you see the scroll gives it a mystical touch.)

It was in this quest, while travelling far and wide of the distant and unknown lands, doing koochikoos beautiful maidens talking and gaining knowledge from the learned and wise that I one day accidently stepped upon THE SCROLL.*tada da taaaaa*

 The scroll said that it can restore peace back in the blogosphere but required great will power determination and sacrifice. It was clear that any person who reads the scroll would be bound to follow the instructions. Since most peace is attained over self-destruction. I opened the sacred letter.
Now this is definitely not for the weak and ill willed. Remember that it involves great sacrifice to be a part of this else be ready to face the mishap. Those who feel they can’t go through this. Turn back now. Because from here on if you continue reading, there is no turning back.

“OOOHHHH TARAA BEE JALDEE KOO BALBATARAAAA..KAPLALO MAAAYATOOOM..!!!
TOMM TOOM TOMM..!!!”

I CALL THIS… THE CURSE OF THE PIMPLE QUEEN. (*Buwaahahhahahahhahahahahahahhaha* evil laugh.. evil music.. heavily violins and bass effect.. Adams family style*)
Now since you have continued reading, let me firstly congratulate you.. you now successfully have come under the curse. And blame no one but yourself to be taken over by this curse. (*evil laugh and music again*)

Now the curse states that if you do not do the following steps; you shall grow 7 vicious pimples, 3 on each butt cheek and one on your nose that will keep growing and yet never burst. So unless you really like the pimple, I suggest you follow the following 7 steps.

1.      If you are a first timer in this blog space. Stop reading and immediately add me. Before 2 minutes of you reading this if I am not added then remember a pimple for each step wrongly done. If you already are a follower then make sure you go ahead and read every post of mine and drop a comment. It doesn’t matter if you have already dropped a comment, do it again. Make sure it’s nice. Newbies after adding, follow the same. Show me some lotsa love.

2.      Once the adding and commenting section is done. Go back to your blog and write briefly in about 100 words on what a delightful experience it was and how mind enriching it would be for every one of your followers to read this post and  Threaten ask them to follow me.

3.      If you haven’t awarded me anything yet. This would be a good time. If you already have.. I don’t mind getting it again. Make sure you go through my award page and award me something different. Who doesn't like a change?

4.       Go to my photo blog immediately and add yourself there. Repeat step 1,2 and 3 again about my photo blog.

5.      Go check the guest post I have written for Confused soul’s blog. Those who haven’t added her, go immediately add her up too. You can read the post by clicking here.

6.      Copy paste the following spell and steps on your blog and make a fortune out of followers. Always credit me for leading you to this wonderful post/spell/wisdom on how to attract followers and blog traffic.

7.      Lastly but never the least, it’s said that The Pimple queen herself was a huge Rakhi Sawant Fan. So go check out the video posted below. When you post these steps, surf youtube and attach a video of Rakhi sawant-ji in the honor of the Pimple Queen.
          

In case you read through all of these.. And dare not to follow.. Well then it’s your choice.. the pimple on your nose and the other 6 would suit you..!! but my personal suggestion is… don’t mess with this.. do it..!! rest is up to you..!!
Cheers..!!!!!




P.S : Please check the remaining parts of the video as well..!!!! you wont regret it :D :D
P.P.S: My finals starts from tomorrow and my head is splitting. Flu symptoms.So pliss to pray to your respective gods to help me :| mujhe sirf Dawaon ki nahi.. duwaon ki bhi zaroorat hain..!!



Monday, 28 November 2011

Fibonacci Sonnet : Rum and I


There is nothing personal in this post except for the rum part..!! (somehow I find myself like Jack sparrow drawn towards it :D )
This just came along the flow while writing. I was trying to write about Rum and myself.. and ended up with this.. Hope you like it..!!
********************************


Sometimes its just difficult to hate someone..!! no matter how many reasons you have.. no matter how hard you try..!!


*Kehte hain..waqt har zakhm ko bhar deta hain..par waqt hi mera zakhm hain.. Pata nahi waqt ne mujhe kya se kya bana diya hain..warna main bhi insaan tha*

Winter.
Chill.
It’s cold.
So are you.
The cold winter still prevails.
But your cold love pricks me ever more.
I hold on to my bottle of rum to keep my soul warm.
Some warmth to keep me alive amongst your naked thoughts more fake than a whores promise of some love for tonight.



Bitter rum more sweet than your love, warmer than your presence, comforting than your words assures a good night sleep too.
I open my heart, my soul towards the blowing cold wind and sing.
Sing with the wind with love for you.
My rum sings with me.
Cold winter night.
We sing.
Rum.
I.




Now Playing : Yeh hain meri kahani by Strings OST ZINDA 


Cheers...!!!!!!

Sunday, 27 November 2011

with the wind.....with love..!!!


Okay.. this is for all people who are in love..!! Hope you like it :)


This song I wrote is small
but never to worry,
it will not make your heart fall


The night was dark, twinkling star,
moon dull in clouds,
lost its glow
i sit by the window,
where the wind blows.. but slow


I gaze at the candle stand
with candle, small but spreading its light,
As it dances to the tune of the wind
as if the rhythm is just right

The woods are dark, lovely and deep,
says the poet frost
but am sure, the magic of this night
would have had him lost

the night splendid, mysterious in it
as the half moon lit sky watched,
the moon comin out,
perfect indeed.

I look at the sky and close my eyes
as I can smell the scent of the rain wet soil,
she walks into my mind from those foggy dark skies
and as she nears, widens up my smile


the hymn of the wind
in my ear
i hear it loud and clear
so this song of mine, is for all those who are far yet near

As I sing with the wind,
with love, if she can hear



I will sing with the wind.........



with love.................!!!!!!











P.S : Sorry folks.. I have been away for a while... nothing serious but just been busy. also my creativity and muse had left me.. so I hibernated.My next post would be the long awaited Fibonacci Sonnet.. so watch this space :)


P.P.S : I love you all for patiently waiting for me to get back..!! I have been very busy lately. though my exams are up, I felt I need to post something for you..!! You people are the Best..!!


P.P.S.S :  This is an unofficial announcement of my coming soon first ever GUEST POST at Confused Soul's Blog..!! so keep your eyes wide open people..!!


Cheers..!!

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

THE LADY IN BLACK..!!!

I saw a pretty girl once.. all dressed in black.. that made me write this..!!! an old one.. a re-post :)

With a strange smile,
She walks into the room…
And so delightfully began,
My Sunday afternoon…
Stranger she was,
Yet I felt I know her
From times long back…
This is how I met
The lady in black..!!!!

Was wondering if she was an angel or goddess
While casting her to earth,
Even god was flawless…
Gracefully she walked
As the time stood still,
Meeting her was definitely a part of my destinies will,
There she stood
In midst of the crowd
That looked like a sack..
Beautiful like a full moon in the dark sky,
Was my lady in black…!!!

Her voice was soft as snow,
While her sweet essence announced her presence
\for everybody to know,
Making all realize with
Skipping heartbeats and mind wiped clean,
That there was magic in the air,
Gripping everybody in…..
The khol in her eyes and the dimpled smile,
Made minds lose their track,
That was the side effects of the magic
Of the lady in black…!!!!!

And like the wind that blows to wipe
Away the tiring sweat,
A serene moment took over e,
When our eyes finally met,
Her eyes were deep,
Making me wander n get lost in..
She smiles right then, and
Am sure its love that got me from within
I close my eyes and fill her up in my heart..
Am not letting her go else my soul will be ripped apart..
I opened my eyes,
Preparing myself for a talk as I thought I might not have enough knack..
She was gone..
Vanished in thin air..
My mysterious lady in black…!!!!!



Sunday, 13 November 2011

a Plea..


THIS POST HAS BEEN SELECTED AS THE EDITOR'S CHOICE -16TH NOVEMBER..!! (Yay..!!!)
Thank you so much dear Editor and BlogJunta..!! :)





Night So dark,
stars smiling on
the long day of distress,
just finally gone
Heavens opened up,
asking "where had you been?"
I hear the angles searched me
but i was never seen


Pain of my heart
wiped away,
and the chalice of my sorrow
just took a sway.
The light of peace comforts me now
fruits coming out of the
plants i sow,
I finally reached, where i belong
reaching back my home,
even if it took me so long



the wine of my blood
i push it so far,
but deep inside in my soul
there remains its scar
I take the swords of my faults
and stab in so hard
to take the sweet pain of guilt
I had so longed


Life drips out,
from my eyes
stars start moving around,
just like fire flies
My dream of paradise,
of which the songs I sang,
has now been announced, that
its all forbidden


I am not the spirit,
the heavens were waiting waiting for,
they sing the hymn of rejection
just as an old folk lore.
My breath all stopped,
my heart struggling to beat
the chill of death,
wiping my body heat.


vultures of hell,
waiting to rip me off
like traders of a whore,
who just brought her for a loaf
I have been cursed,
for i have sinned
The revolt against my lord
has just been pinned.


Don't sharpen your weapons
oh! please... pull out your spears...
for i wanna go home
i don't like it here..
for I wanna go home,,
i don't like it here..
I just wanna go home....
i just don't like in here.............!!!!!!!!!!


Wednesday, 9 November 2011

KL 15 7878


THIS IS A LONG POST. I PROMISE THIS IS A TRUE INCIDENT..!!! BREAD PAKODE KI KASAM..!!!

I got a call from my mother asking me to come over to Calicut and spend the weekend with them. Now it’s had been quite a while that I had been home. Don’t get me wrong I had been busy. But since I was having a bad week, I thought a bit of my crazy family could cheer me up. Hence I packed my bags and left to Calicut the next day.

Now when I reached the bus stand, I came to know that it was a hartal in kerala that day and that life would be back to normal after 6.00 PM. The bus was already full. but in a bizzare chain of events, another bus that was empty and seemed to leave earlier than this one came and half of the crowd got into that bus and as a result I got a place to sit. As soon as people left the bus, our bus started moving. Now, there was a person sitting on the window side and I so so wanted to exchange seats with him but I knew he wouldn’t agree.  So I played my trick on him. I pretended to have a lousy digestive system and that I was feeling pukeish..!! he immediately offered me the window seat and viola.. I was feeling better again.*EVIL GRIN* hehehehehheehhehe 

Now I don’t like talking to people on bus. But instead I love observing them. So as usual to avoid any talks I plugged in my noise cancellers into my ears and opened a book to read. ( I always read when I am travelling. Best way to avoid conversations as you dive back to book and they would get the point that you are not interested.) I don’t know when but the sitting next to me got down at some point and somebody else had taken his place. This man was decently dressed. A bag that looked old and that he has been travelling since ages, neatly combed curly hair and a moustache. I noticed him when the bus stopped for tea. He smiled at me and I smiled back. He seemed a nice guy. Smile means no harm. Or so I thought.

He sat in the table next to me inside the hotel and smiled at me whenever we saw each other. I focused on my parota and egg curry to avoid this smile smile game. Had my tea in king size glass (beauty of going to a Kerala restaurant :D ) and landed back on my seat. This guy came and sat next to me. I was on phone talking to my mother explaining my current location, direction of the bus, my seat number, number of people on the bus, and so on. You know how mothers are. They wanna know everything. I dropped the call and saw that this guy was staring at me. I smiled back and he smiled back at me.( now for the nth time). “girlfriend??” he asked me. I was shocked. “no..!! mother” I replied back. “you know how mothers can be right?” I casually asked and he was like “oh, no, my mother never doubted me. She trusts me. All mothers do. This sounded like my girlfriend. She never trusts me. Was that your girlfriend ?” he asked again. I thought he was trying to be funny but he had a dead cold seriousness on his face. “I told you. NO. THAT WAS MY MOTHER.” I replied in a stern voice and began to look outside. He paused for a minute and chuckled. I tried not to look at him to avoid another conversation. He chuckled again and this time was taping my shoulders as if he was trying to call me. I turned towards him

Him : “Your mother reminded me of my girlfriend, funny na??” and I lost it.
I barked back  : “what nonsense man? What do you mean?”
Him “No, no, I am saying my girlfriend is as caring as a mother is. Am lucky. Don’t you think? I have a girlfriend who loves me just like a mother loves her child.”
 That made me understand one thing that there was something wrong with this guy. I smiled wide and looked outside. He tapped on my shoulder again
Him : “where does this bus go?”
Me : no idea.
Him : toh get idea sirji and breaks into laughter.
I stare at him and he asks again
Him : where are you going ?
Me : havent you taken your ticket yet ?
Him : yes, I did. I am very prompt that way.
Me : and you got the ticket to where you are going ?
Him : oh ya.. Kalpetta. Why do you ask ??
Me : No, if you are on a bus that goes to a place where you are going, why on earth are you interested in where this bus or I am going ??
Him : you are not a friendly person are you ?
ME : *sarcastically* oh no, why did you feel like that? DONT YOU SEE MY FRIENDLY SIDE WHEN I AM RESPONDING BACK TO YOU..??
Him : No, no, I felt that. You sounded like you were being rude. I am sorry I dint mean to hurt you. my fault. You are a nice guy *smiles back*
Me : *KILL ME NOW* smile back and puts the ear phones and dives back into the book.


I was reading this book THE DAY MY BUTT WENT PSYCHO.  I was about to flip the page when he stopped me. it seems he was reading along with me. now I was at 6th chapter and 1/2 of the book was done and this guy is reading from RIGHT there, asking me to wait up while am about to turn the page, he catches up and then taps my hand to flip the page. This process happened for 3 times when I closed the book and gave it to him.

Him : For me ?? *smiles wide*
Me : read. I will read once I reach my home.
Him : oh, but I can’t finish this book so soon.
Me : *sarcastically* don’t say that, you can try.
Him : Okay. *continues reading*
Me : FACEPALM.

5 minutes later
Him : I am not understanding many things what is happening here.
Me : oh, maybe that’s because you are reading it from the middle. Ideally one starts the book from the first page.
Him :oh..*laughs* you re funny. No, I just lost interest. Is this a good book ?
Me : I don’t know I haven’t read it you see.
Him : oh, hmmm..!!

5 minutes later
Him : this is crap.
Me : huh ?
Him : *told me how the book ends* (am not typing it in case anybody wants to read it.)
Me : ohh.. I was planning to read it..!! chuck it anyways.
Him : see, I saved so much your time. *laughs* actually it’s there in the last few pages. Begins to Read that portion loudly.
Me : *nods head* *puts on my noise cancellers and turns up the volume*
KILL ME NOW..!!! 


Long pause. No talking. He slept off.

Suddenly there is a tap on my shoulder again.

Him : ladies are standing. We should get up right ??
Me : you do if you want. I have a cramp in my leg, I can’t stand. *oh me acting acting*

He gets up and offers his seat to the girl standing. She is pretty and I stay put. :) Suddenly he taps my shoulder again

Him : the girl must be uncomfortable. Why don’t you stand and offer your seat to the other lady here ??
He was loud and that turn a few attention.
Me : I told you mister, I have a cramp in my leg and a long distance to travel.
Him : but they will be getting down at the next stop.
The pretty girl nods. I knew he wouldn’t stop till I get up. So I got up and offered MY seat to another lady standing.
Him : we are Men..!! We can stand pain..!! you will be fine. *laughs*

Next stop arrived. The pretty girl got up and left. The other woman offers MY seat to him. Am still standing not able to digest what just happened. The lady totally refused me sitting in MY place and offers it to the seat crusader who fought for her and this Dickhead immediately took it and got into an instant conversation with her.


Me : excuse me, can I sit ??  My leg is really hurting.
Him : sorry. Yours was the window seat. The lady is sitting on the window side. How can you ask me to ask her to get up?
Me : but I am asking you to offer me your seat.
Him : *laughs* and how do you expect me to travel?? I too have taken ticket mister.
Me : but I have a sprain in my leg and yet I offered the seat for the lady and YOU said it was only till the next stop..!! so please get up now.
Him : if I am to offer my seat to everybody else, why bother catching one huh ?? Not happening mister.
Him :*to the people who were looking at us and our small argument now* look at him. He wants me to give him my seat. *laughs* *some idiots join the laugh*

People gave me all sorts of look. Some sympathetic, some those tch tch ones. In the end I was standing all the way. He got down at Kalpetta and before getting down had successfully struck a chord with the ladies standing around him. In fact he gave up his seat again while his stop was approaching.
And that’s was one trip where I had a seat which I (in)voluntarily gave up to stand all the way..!!! by the time I reached home half the passenger passing through had stamped over me my legs were aching now for REAL. :|



P.S : I reached home and explained it to my mother who found HIM very interesting. She was offended how I dint offer my seat at the first place.

P.P.S : Next time people, please try the sleeping trick. works always. worked on my way back. nobody wakes up a sleeping person to talk or ask to offer seats.

Monday, 7 November 2011

The man who knows his Math..

Hey everybody..!!!


I am just back from calicut and full on stuffed with things to blog about. I'll do it one by one as I find time, for today I am very tired.
 BUT BUT BUT... NOT SO FAST... there is something I have to tell you all :)


I GOT ANOTHER AWARD...!!!!


*DANCING* :D :D :D


 And this is time its from Philo. click here to visit her.


The specialty about this award is that this award is a specially designed by her and she did take the pain to draw it out for me.(and others too) 










So here I am saying a very BIG thank you to Philo, for being so generous and giving me this award. Also for those wonderful words, and the stories you write, you know I love reading your blog :) hope you write more wonderful stories. Hope I can write as good as you have said on your blog :)




                                    **************************************************************************




This is not an original post.. liked it so much that am posting it for all of you. Its about a Man who does know his math..!!


He writes:

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.

'Man, that guy is stupid,' I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to bumper

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger?

I don't think so...!!!!





cheers..!!! :D :D

Friday, 4 November 2011

Back to the start



My head is aching again.

I just returned from college. My head is aching in a weird manner. It aches now for some time and then it doesn’t. I guess it’s confused too like I am. I couldn’t blame it, after all it’s my head right. Always messed up and half fucked in its own ways.

If you all remember some days back I had updated a post called THE WAITING ROOM chronicles. My experience in the waiting room while I was waiting for the Infosys placements. It was a nice day and I couldn’t ask for more. I got placed after all. :)


I just received a letter. An email from Infosys stating that my offer letter has been terminated. Some difference in 0.5 marks in the percentage had come when they took all the marks of the semester into consideration. Apparently that doesn’t satisfy the company norms and hence the withdrawal of the offer letter. Shit happens right.

I did call up and tell my parents. Their celebrations of having their son getting placed finally comes to an end. I would be lying if I say I am fine. I am hurt deep inside because somewhere deep inside, I was extremely happy about it though I pretended to be normal about it. Anyways the happiness was short lived and I am back to the start again. I guess I will brood and sulk over it and maybe then I'll be fine again. My exams are approaching soon and my running around for project hasn’t led me to anything so far. Guess I’ll add that too in my list while I am sulking.

What I am trying to say is that I want to thank everyone who wished me luck and were happy for me for getting placed. Sorry to say but that isn’t going to happen now. The bigger part is to call up all my friends and say this. atleast now I can hope that they'll stop adding "arey, tera toh mast hain yaar, tu toh placed ho gaya na.. tujhe kya tension hain ??" at the end of every sentence they say while talking to me. I am half way through the day and there is another half left. Hopefully I can pull myself through it. Maybe I’ll sleep over it. I have another test tomorrow and some big news to break to the faculty and the placement department. I’ll be offline for a few days till I am back to my normal self. Hopefully, I’ll be back tomorrow, the day after or maybe in a week or a month. I don’t know how long but I’ll be back. I have nowhere to run.
So, see you when I see you guys.
Take care.
Cheers..!!

PEACE OUT..!!!

P.S : I have replied to all your comments and I wont be able to reply to comments on this one if you do so its fine if you dont. Am sorry and yup, Keep smiling and have fun. I hope to hear loads of stories when I am back.

Thursday, 3 November 2011

sex is a bitch..!!!!


THIS IS A VERY ADULT WALA CONTENT WALA POST..!! THOSE BELOW 18 YEARS, PLEASE DONT READ ANY FURTHER. PARENTAL ADVISORY NEEDED CONTAINS EXPLICIT WORDS.



 But since this is internet and we all know that you are still reading this and will continue reading this, go ahead.. just dont make "am shocked" faces.

Its true.. SEX can be a bitch. Its fine when its down there but then if one doesn’t do the needful, it can rise up and start fucking with your mind.~ just a thought.

No, no, nothing is wrong with me. Trust me. Nor have I began reading those " discuss your seksual problems" columns in the newspapers, while pretending to be a person who strictly reads the morning paper. This stunning conclusion of mine was based on my friend who happened to be my "study subject." I knew this guy while I was studying in my engineering college.

Now you see, when you are in an engineering college, you tend to come across a wide variety of boys (and girls for that matter of fact.) whom you never in your wildest thought imagined to exist. One of my friends, hostel mate in fact was one such item piece. He used to carry out this I-DON’T-GIVE-AN-ARSE attitude to everybody especially to girls. He never shaved or combed his hair properly with an explanation that it brings the raw, brute and masculine side of him out. In short according to him he was playing the bad boy attitude which is said to be very appealing with girls (the hot and dumb ones) but in a very shabby manner. But he craved for girls attention more than the cravings a pregnant woman for i dont know..say chocolate ice cream.

If all of you think he was like the least popular guy of our college, read on. His computer was the porn library of the hostel. We even saw people from other college’s acquainting with him for porn. Such respect he commanded among the male community. In a guy’s world, porn is not JUST PORN. Guys and porn have a strange connection. We believe that porn is like a vast ocean and nobody can conquer it all. Even a porn addict wouldn’t have seen it all but the rumor in in our hostel was that this guy had done it. Though he would humbly disagree, we considered it to be his humility but he was a cult in pornographical proportions (just a figure of speech, don’t get ideas.)

Though I publically hated him and ignored his presence, we were good friends in hostel. It started with sharing of adjacent rooms but then slowly he took over my computer whenever he was running short of memory space. In the name of better use of technology for human amusements I did let him.  He took away my responsibility of updating my porn collection. whatever he had, I had. We frequently updated each other on cheap lines by exchanging some like “well, if you are a man and not thinking about Pu@#y then, you are not concentrating hard enough and the skirt optimism ratio” (That’s my all time favorite.) We shared mutual respect for one main reason. I respected him for his shear love and dedication towards porn. He hardly watched anything else apart from that. Ideally if you take 3 hours to watch a movie, no sex involved in that film, he would finish it in 3 minutes. Give him a movie with one good action in it and he would loop it up till he gets his hands out of the pants. (Am not making it up, he himself had said it once.) And he respected me for having a girlfriend. I had a girlfriend those days and he apparently did like me for being in a relationship. He said  for him it was liking watching a KJo movie. All drama and no action. There is always a hope when the hero and heroine come close and intimate but then there is this song that kills it type. One needs a lot of patience to stand it and he admired my patience with people.

I don’t know what went wrong or right for once in his life, but he went home for a vacation. His mother made sure he is all cleaned up and returns back in the most human form, attends the fresher’s party and well got laid. Actually, almost. Now he called up late at that night and that conversation went like this.

*Phone rings*
Me : *sleepy* bol bhai..!!
HIM: Dude, I need you now.
ME : Go fuck yourself dude. Am straight.
HIM : Nahi yaar, tu samaj nahi raha hai.. I need your help.
ME : To fuck yourself ?? *starts laughing*
HIM: BC, poori sunega..??  dekh.. yahan mera kuch scene bann ne wala hain.. ek ladki hain.. tanch maal hai yaar.. abhi main usko kuch senti bolu kya ???
ME: hmmmm… well.. agar bolna chata hain toh bol..!! par tu senti kyon bolna chata hain ??
HIM: ussee Rakhi bandwane ke liye saale.. abe "kuch scene hain" bola toh samjha nahi kya ??
ME : Sun chu*ye.. main teri basha nahi samajhta.. samjha?? aur BC agar kuch hone wala hain to tu phone pe meri need kyon haram kar raha hain be? Uspe chad na..!!
HIM : Abe har#$#@re, teri toh girlfriend hain, islye maine phone kiya.. tu kuch senti venti nahin bolta jis se teri.. you know.. tak dina din hua ?? *he giggles*
ME: abe sun BC, tu kya samjahta hain, har kisi ko teri tarah dimaag mein bas ek ki khayal hain kya??
HIM : hmmm.. point…tu kamina kuch hoga toh bhi nahi bolega..!! toh mein seedha chad hi jaata hoon..!! kal tyaar rehna bachoo.. points doonga.. notes bana lena...!! aage kaam aayega.
ME : Whatever man..Best of luck.. aur sun.. Balbhir pasha ko AIDS hoga kya ??
HIM : Nahi gaandu, balbhir pasha tayaar aaye hain..!! 
*we both do our evil laugh*
ME : chal ab sone de.
HIM : bye jaaneman..!! 
ME : abe uske liye bacha ke rakh nautanki..!!! *laugh again*
*phone disconnected*

next day was historic.

I never had laughed so much in my life. He had decided to talk to her in the beginning to you know ease up the tension and the talk went for long and the tension was so much eased it seems that when time came  nothing went straight..!!!!  If that was not frustrating and bad enough, the next day morning he woke up to find her gone with his wallet and rado watch...!!!!! :D :D Nobody who attended that party that night had any idea who she was or with whom she had come. Most of them thought she was with him since they were seen together for most of the eveningSeriously while he was whining about what happened, the only good thing was she was hot thief who just looted him and left his kidneys for himself. The fact that at least he touched some bases consoled him.

I had promised him that I would never ever tell what happened that night to anybody and so no name has been disclosed. 

Now why did I remember this today?? Because I was blocked and I was walking inside the supermarket, watching people and reading through various products when I saw a stack of condoms. I picked it up was reading through when a mother daughter duo saw me and the funny part was while the girl giggled looking at what was in my hand, the mother nodded her head in total despair. It was the same look of despair I used to give him during our unbelievably hilarious and top notch pervert conversations. Hence I remembered him.

I still remember him yelling , “BC saala.. yeh jo sex hai na sex.. saala yeh sex badi kutti cheez hain..!!” :D


Cheers..!!!
:)

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Welcome the Naughty November


I WOULDN'T SUGGEST YOU TO READ THIS. DONT GO BY THE TITLE, ITS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME.
Having you all warned.. here I go.

It’s the first of November and I was thinking what to post on my blog.

Now, I never actually thought so much about what to blog. I usually type whatever comes into my mind. But reading the wonderful comments I received, I seriously don’t want to disappoint you. Hence the pressure of WHAT SHOULD I BLOG TODAY ??? 

Lets see,there was halloween this month but I dint go tricking or treating in fact I coulnt even use the buy one get one pizza coupons I got (Wattey waste I tell you), then there was this, F1 in India but apparently I dont follow F1 that closely these days so that goes out of the window and oh ya, Metallica DID perform in bangalore because of which most of my friends ended up having a sprained neck due to excessive head banging. Now I could write about it but I just am too jealous of not being there that I'll skip that.

I wanted to write a funny post today. In fact I have something in my mind but maybe I’ll post it someother day. :)
Today I would like to talk about me and the month that went by.



October isn’t of any much significance in my life. Neither I nor any of my close ones have any birthday to celebrate this month. No anniversary dates, nothing at all, but I must say that this October that passed will hold something special in my life to come. No, I dint meet anyone or fall in love either :P

There are a few things you need to know if you are still reading. The reason I started blogging is strange. Unlike most of you who started to blog to express yourself and your writing skills, I started to blog to improve mine. I don’t write exceptionally well, in fact I write like how I talk. I don’t use big words while I talk and that’s because I don’t know most of them. Every time I come across a big word, I still check the  dictionary and make a mental note of it. My sister finds it quite amusing watching me read (even novels) with a pencil marking big words. :D 

Why am I saying this is because one of my friends (wonder if we still are) gave me some BIG feedback on my blog. He had pissed me off for some apparent reason and we had an agreement after which he very coldly said that he did read my blog. That coming from him who wouldn’t read the seminar slides was quiet very surprising. He said that there was nothing great in it. The writing was very bland and stale, humor in posts were quiet forced and not a single post had any literal stuff in it. My blog dint appeal much to him nor did give him an impression of wanting to come back and read more. This happened the day before somebody actually unfollowed me. So when I saw my followers list one less and remembered what he said this it really hurt. Now when things go wrong, they do go wrong in series and it did go worse from bad in my case.  I couldn’t think of anything good to write, my writing had hit the bottom plus I was brooding over "the one I lost" hangover. I tried writing and wrote many stupid stuffs but never managed to post them.

I decided to hibernate from blogging. This is one exercise which I follow when I am to do seriously sulking. And it was during this period, I realized one thing. I was doing it all wrong. You see there was a time when I knew what I would be blogging for the whole week. I had something planned up for each day. With loads of assignments, seminar and project run to do along with the desperate want to write something really nice and humorous so that people would start writing and tweeting about my blog had made me write some really pathetic posts. I spent a lot of time thinking and decided to try and improve the quality of my posts rather than quantity. No, that doesn’t mean I would change my writing style, somehow I like the simple way I write. To write  Like the way I am talking, so that when you read this, you feel am talking to you and not giving a speech on something. to start fresh again. Am not concerned on how many people are there following me, instead I just want to make sure that anyone and everyone reading my posts should end up visiting for again for more hungry to read what I write. To mark the fresh start, I changed the way how my blog looks and am loving it.

If you my friend(to him-you know who) are reading this, let me tell you something what I should have said that day but dint. This is the devil’s workshop. This is my blog. Do not read this blog for any literary point of view, you won’t find one. Read it if you have an appetite for some pure nonsense because that what I write. A word of advice, “keep your expectations really low when you begin to read something. That way you will never end up disappointed. On the contrary you might be in for a surprise.” I write to put what’s in my mind. Sometimes it might sound stale, stupid and totally pointless. And I don’t give a rat’s arse to what you think. Thanks for the feedback, I took what I needed but down here, I am god, and I AM THE DEVIL..!!! 

That way October did teach me a few new things about friends, lines that shouldn’t be crossed, and somethings very very important. I’ll blog about it soon. So goodbye October, and welcome Naughty November. 

Oh an one more thing is that I have began to write at nights. I dont know why but I sit through the night and type lots of stuff. So like Gulzar says Ab Ek sau challis baatein hogi.. choubis ghante raatein hi hogi..!!  :) 
 
Cheers..!!

P.S : I called it Naughty November because I had/saw very funny incidents today. All of them will be blogged soon.

P.P.S : Am asked to write for a preface for a book that’s named “ ultimate sex tips for idiots.” One of my demented (see I used a big word instead of "mentally the sick" :D) frand has decided to write it. I am confused on what have to write here, so any help here would be appreciated.


P.P.S.S : As am writng this post, I am having a sudden craving for butter roti and butter chicken and I dont know why?? But I just cant stop thinking about the soft butter dolloped rotis along with slightly sweet yet spicy gravy of butter chicken with tender chicken pieces. Aaaaahhhhh..!!! Yumm..!!! I miss "Punjabi Rasoi" very much :( :(







I just thought of adding the images to make your mouth water too..!! :D