I was swinging excessively from left to right. I looked like a crane with one leg in the air. The difference was that I was trying to tying my shoe lace instead of fishing. Couple of death defying stunts and switch of legs happened but the shoe laces were tied. I combed my hair for the sixth time now. The cave man look was gone and I looked evolved. I was finally meeting her after so long, a year approximately, 10 months 23 days to be specific and I wanted everything to be right.
I just can’t understand girls. She was talking on and on. I was trying hard to focus but then, the rate at which she talking and I understood were different. It was like watching those foreign movies were the dialogs came first and then the subtitles appeared on the screen. Most times I just nodded to make sure that she doesn’t find out. Hmmmmm…. Wow... She looked so cute... and she twitched her nose at times while talking..!!! Aaahhhh…. first love. Bliss.!!! J
*phela nasha on radio while I was running in between the canteen tables and waiter in slow motion in my mind*
Wow… the traffic was amazingly stagnant. It was just like the queue in front my office. The query and complaint sections of electronic cookers had a long line every day. Most times people came up for refunds and our job was to decline their claim. It was feeling horrible sitting inside the rickshaw while the traffic behaved like an adamant child who has been denied chocolate and wouldn’t budge or move till it gets what it wants. I was more worried about the sweat patch on my shirt’s arm pit region that was slowly showing up. L I prayed she was late too. I dint want to show up late like always.
Karma is a bitch. I wonder what makes her go on and on. Surprisingly she could never stop talking. It was nice at first. But then she never lets me talk. Not that I am a very conversationalist but how could somebody talk so much. Most things she spoke about never made sense. The reason I used to let her talk instead of me trying to because then it would become a conversation which most times ended up as fights over silly issues. The sad part was not the fight. The sad part was the piling up. Every fight brought up past sins. Stuffs that would have happened months ago. Stuffs that you thought were over come out of the dead and haunt you every time there was an argument. WHY ON EARTH WOMEN SO COMPLICATED????
She looked so beautiful. A year. It seemed like time never touched her. She was the same to the last detail. She smiled while I was talking. I WAS TALKING??? Actually I was on roll. She sat there, saying nothing but just with a smile. The place was playing Hotel California to which she was moving her lips. It was her favorite song. She loved me playing it on my guitar for her. I slightly started singing along with it when she stopped her lip sync and looked at me as if I had just offended her. K
The more time we spent together, more we realized how much distant we had gone from each other. Once clouded with love, we could barely talk to each other for long without reaching for each other’s throats. I was kind of seeing somebody else and it almost seemed like so was she. We were still together because neither of us wanted to be the person who slit the relationship and look like the villain of the story. That was until she caught me with another girl. Pants down.
We ate mostly in silence except for the few occasional nods and sounds of affirmation from both ends. She was keeping the talks to minimum. I finally did ask the big question, “Anything else you want to order?” I couldn’t believe myself that I just asked “THAT” instead of “THAT” what I was hoping to ask. She politely nodded no. She unlike me never seized upon the opportunity of free food. I virtually punched myself till I bled out and died.
Every break up if was not your call is followed by heavy brooding sessions. So was mine. Remember the feeling when you start missing something once lost, it was stinking that feeling all over me. Rum helped a bit. Or so I thought. The ordeal with the other girl never worked. What was I thinking? It never would have worked. I tried calling her back. But she was gone. But the guy she sort of was seeing. Well the “sort of” was out of the way now.
“Soooo…” I extended the “oooo” part hoping my mind would feed the rest. Sadly it dint. The lunch was done with. The dessert cups empty. I was wondering what more could I order to make her stay. I could have just apologized and asked her for another chance. After the guy she was dating after me too dint work that well or for long. Something said that she might still feel for me. How?? Well she was here, right in front after all that happened, wasn’t she?? “Shall we leave?” she finally starting a conversation of the past hour the meeting. This was good. I nodded yes. “You could ring that bell if you loved the food and ambience!!” I showed her the big giant bell hung in a corner. She nodded no.
“Hey listen, I never could say how sorry I really am” I finally had started talking something useful. She looked at me like she was expecting this from long. “There hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t regretted what I did. It’s just that each day I wish if I could do something to take it all back, you know…” She hugged me while I was trying to tell her what I could never say. And the world stopped. J And the car honked so loud that I woke up from my day dream.
I still hadn’t said a word. It was now or never, so I tapped on her shoulder and said “Hey listen…..”She turned with a smile around and continued instead, “thank you so much for the wonderful lunch” It was so nice to see after so long. Listen, am getting married next week, I know it’s a short period of time but you surfaced back from your exile suddenly. I hope whatever happened between us is all in the past. I am really looking forward to see you there” and handed me her wedding card.
While she climbed into the auto, I was waving my hand like the kids along the railway track waving at each passing train. I stopped waving having realized that she wasn’t paying attention. She looked at me with so many questions that I could never answer. Maybe I should have never hibernated off from everybody. Maybe I should have never come back. I threw away the card after the auto left. And looked myself in the reflection of the car in the parking lot. Receding hair line and flourishing pot belly. I pulled my stomach back and in half breath cried out “RICKSHAWWWWWW”.
This was the best feeling of being in love. Being in her arms. She always cuddled while making requests for what to sing for her. Strumming my guitar, while she rocked, holding me and resting her head on my shoulders. “So close no matter how far...” College would end in another year and tomorrow shall come with new responsibilities, tomorrow shall come with its own worries, tomorrow shall come with its own new set of problems and solutions but for now as long as I was with her, I cared less about anything else than her. Nothing else mattered.
NOW PLAYING : NOTHING ELSE MATTERS from Metallica
P.S : For those who understand, its present- past- present format.
P.P.S : Look for the color code. should help
P.P.S.S : Happy Ganesh Chaturti to all..!! God bless you all :)