Dum Diddly

Its been quiet some time since I have written anything.


Its been quiet sometime since I have posted anything on my blog.
I had told my reason in my previous post that I had lot of things on my plate and I wouldn't be able to write. Despite all that I have been writing all this time,but never posted it. Majorly because I found none of them were good enough to be posted. Most of them were nonsense and made no sense at all. Also, I thought I would start posting once I change a few things and the look of my blog. Right now, I am busy surfing other blogs and looking for ideas but if anybody has any suggestions, feel free to let me know.  Apart from blog surfing and lame attempts to write, one good thing that happened is that I have started to sketch. Nothing serious but pencil sketching. I used to do it when in college. Now am back with that again :)

I couldn't focus on one subject to write about it. my attempt to write something funny sounded like a detailed study of the torture programs at concentration camps. and then I tried writing serious stuffs, and lets just say nothing good happened and not talk about the causalities that happened when people tried reading it. Sarcasm was a disaster. I was growing impatient every passing moment looking at the cursor blink and not able to write. All I could come up was a few posts on how to efficiently crack cheap lines and look stupid..!!!

Since my daily attempt to write was going nowhere, today I decided I would not write.Instead I will clean my room. It had been a mess for long. Instead I will rearrange my room. I will wash my clothes. I will find the door to get out of my room ..I will throw away the junk I have collected over time so meticulously.  I will shave off the beard  I will get a new look, change my "out of bed look" to a whatever a clean shave face fellow is called. yup, the chikna look..!!!! I will do something useful today. I will try and finish my pending chores today. And hence began the washing period started.
I washed all my clothes. put them on the drying line and just when I turned back, the drying line snapped and all the clothes were down.

I screamed..!!! I smiled.
Brought a roll of strong rope and tied it back. Washed my clothes again and hung them back.
I cleaned my room and I am sneezing like I have been cursed. Good news is that I found a lot of things that I once thought were stolen. My headphones, my hero pen, stapler pins, the missing sock, my old mobile charger and surprisingly an umbrella. (wow, I had that ??). I threw a lot of junks, notes, papers, cardboard pieces, glass pieces( ??????) empty ink bottles etc etc and etc. and the room apparently looks neat and spacious. In midst of all these cleaning that more looked like a mining operation, and between my thirty fourth and thirty fifth sneeze,( Ya, I count my sneeze. anything more than 63 means am suffering from cold.) I was struck by some ideas and I have been writing since then.

well, I haven't posted them yet but will soon do. One by one. Acccchoooooo..!!! sorry.. Buwahahahhahahahahaha :) :)

For now, please let me know if you have any ideas for the look of the blog.


P.S : If any of you feel that I am messy and my room isn't tidy, let me correct you. I am not. My room is more like a work of art. An abstract art actually. you may feel its messed, untidy and random but its carefully placed stuffs. Every thing that you see, from the clothes dumped in one corner to the books scattered, everything is meticulously placed and a reason and significance behind it. Its beautiful if you appreciate art actually.

Now Playing : Dum Diddly by BEP and hence the blog post name :)

Oh Woman..you kill..!!! (my version )

Hey there.. This post is actually dedicated to one of my favourite fellow bloggers.. RED :) and her blog RED HANDED.

Days back.. she wrote an amazing piece of story by the name "Oh woman..you kill..!!"  

I loved that so much that I decided to do a remake under the same title but a different story.. Its not as good as what she has come up the major reason because her story is very crisp than mine... but still.. This is for you RED..!! :) 

OH WOMAN...!! YOU KILL...!!!

I am not sure what woke me up, but the noises around me were now stinging me. The train blew its whistle out loud. The wind blows on the right side of my face resting on the window bars, while my left aches in heat and sweat. I try to stick my face completely  to the window but the sun is out, pricking every inch of my face. Genreal compartments are usually crowded. Today it was even more. Festive seasons. There is a lot of noise inside and outside of me. I just cant pay attention to either.

 I hear somebody playing “yeh dil na hota becharaa” on their mobile.

The train blows its whistle loud again and the engine hisses along. A station is approaching with an inferno of people waiting. As it stops, I see everybody looking at me with guilty eyes. Like they know it all. I cant shut anything out. My head aches once again. the noises are deafening.

I think of what happened last night.

***********************

I saw her sitting the corner. She was scared. But there was nothing to get scared of. It was all over. I was trying to console her but she wouldn’t let me near her or listen to what I was trying to say. My head was splitting again. I couldn’t stand it. I leaned back to the wall and sat down right opposite to her. Her face had gone red but she still looked beautiful, just like the first time when I saw her when she moved into my building.

I dint like him. The way he used to hold her when they walked together. The way he looked at her and the way she looked at him back. He had her trapped and she never saw any of it. I knew he was up to something. His visits had increased over the period of time. I spoke to her once when in the elevator. She had the voice like silk. Naïve and innocent she was clearly not seeing that he was planning it all.

My head was now about to explode. This was getting intolerable. Intolerable like the way she smiled back at him when he used to say something in her ear. She doesn’t know about my love. Not yet but am sure she’ll love me back when she sees how much I love her. I never had the courage to talk and tell her what I felt. She wouldn’t understand that am her guardian angel, guarding her always. I tried sending a couple of anonymous letters warning her about him and his plans..but nothing was getting through her. He had her totally under her spell. He started staying nights as well.

I couldn’t take this anymore. I couldn’t stand the thought of her in his arms. I had to do something. And I did it. Slipped through the balcony door that was open and inside. They were barely covered. Coiled in each other they slept. 2 shots totally got covered in the noise of Diwali crackers. I knew he was gone but she was safe.

She was safe .

She yelled.. Screamed and I had to shut her mouth. I tried explaining her everything but I knew I had lost her to his spell. She held him and was still crying. I couldn’t see her crying like that. I tried to talk but she wouldn’t listen at all. She was screaming and crying but there was nobody around. The noises outside were too loud submerging her silk like voice. And it was then I realised She would never love me. She never had. All those smiles we exchanged at the local store, talks in the elevators or warm greeting at the hallway meant nothing. I was being made a fool. By both of them. Even her. I looked like a joker. Something they could talk about and laugh. She too loved to laugh at me and all this while I thought…

I got up. Went to her, held her. She was wriggling like fish out of water but I held her strong and the noises outside did the trick again. She was motionless and light.

*************************

They lay in the bed cuddled in each other’s arms. They had made love. It was not their first time but today was something special. They were engaged. He got up and walked towards the balcony and lit a cigarette when he heard her say “that’s not good for your health. You know that right? It can kill you.” He smiled back, stubbed the cigarette and walked back to her leaving the door open; cuddled next to her while she kept her head on his arms. He smiled and whispered to her “oh woman, it’s not the cigarette, but its you that kill me”. 

He kissed her forehead, they smiled at each other before sleeping in each other’s arms.

**************************************

Now playing : Stan by Eminem ft Dido.

Awards night..!!

Okay.. I just couldn’t stop at that..!!

I did say a whole blog post about Shreya but I do have loads more people that I have to talk about. No No.. I won’t talk an entire blog about them ( I wish) but I surely will tell you a few things that I feel about them.

And these are the recipients for My Award.

So, welcome to the AWARD NIGHT.. This event is as prestigious as the  Academy awards.. so make sure you dress up well and read on..!!!

1.       The first person I would pass this award would be CHINTAN and her The blunt blog. And there is no way I could think of any other anme first :) Now Chintan, fondly called Chinto singh IS THE reason I started to blog. I met Chintan over 0 fiction when my friend added me to her group. I tried writing for it but obiviously I dint find anything worth in my real life that I could write about. But I always used to read the posts of 0fiction which then inspired me to start a blog. She is one of the best person I have met and over a period of time we magically bonded over twitter. ( the madrasan’s open letter actually did something nice. :) ) I read her blog religiously and is THE amazing blogger in this Blogosphere.  So Ladies and gentlemen, put you hands together for Chintan The blunt blogger Gupta..!!!

2.       The second person to whom I would pass this award is Chaitra. The person who actually introduced me to chintan. Chaitra was my senior at school and we lived in the same colony for a long time. She is a doctor who can write poetry, articles as well as her cooking adventures. She is multi-talented and much deserves this award. She is one person I can trust for a honest feedback when  I need one and she will put it in a way without hurting your ego. If you haven’t visted her blog, you actually have missed out one of the coolest blogger cum doctors (or is it other way around?) Ladies and gentlemen, the second award of the night goes to.. Chaitra and her life could be this..!!

3.       The next  person in the award list is the another veteran with whom, I started reading the blog posts. I loved her blogs so much that till I created my own blog and added her, her blog was saved as one of the bookmarks on my internet browser. I read her post “I love You Ducky” at 0fiction and that led me to her blog. She has the most organized and arranged blog. She is a fierce choco lover ( as she and her blog claims), of unknown Martian origin but irrespective all that, she is an assured  good read.. Ladies and gentlemen, yup you got this one right.. She is none other than Priyanka ThePEE VEE Victor.

4.       Dene wala jab bhi deta.. deta chappad faad ke.. Actually the next link in my blog chain would connect to the person who gave me this award, Spaceman Spiff.. but since she gave me this, I will pass this to a blogger whom I met on the chocholic’s confession blog. The next blogger has an ugly head and she herself tells everyone that her blog is something that she wouldn’t recommend to read. A mallu too, one can say that because of her uncanny sense of humor. A virgo in all the sense she is a lawyer in making. Her blog is full of posts that assures a stomach laughing one’s mind out..!! Yet her serious ones have a classy touch.. her signature style one can say. Well, I call her the vigilante who exists but doesn’t exist.. Whom we call RED...Ladies and gentlemen you caught her RED handed this time.. The next award goes to REDHANDED and her UGLY HEAD :D

5.       Out of all the blogs I can never miss this one. Why, because her blog name is my mother’s name :) She is an amazing story teller. A sweetheart. And in a short span of two months an amazing friends I have come across. I literally wait for her post and her comments because she is as generous with her good word as my mother with her awesome aloo ke parathas..!!  Short series of stories that can make you laugh, sad and cry, she is a story teller whom I envy very much and she knows it..!! Ladies and gentlemen, it’s an honor to present the next award to Philo and the blog Life through my eyes.

6.       I can never miss this blog out because this is one blog I can never drop a comment on. Not that I have not tried, but I am too speechless after reading his posts. Every time I visit his blog, I so much wish I was in love because there is love dripping all over his posts. God bless him and the wonderful person who makes me go breathless J allah tum dono ki Jodi salamat rakhe..!! Ladies and gentlemen, If you haven’t been to the 18 downing street, do that and get a dose of the brighter side of love. The next award is to none other than the time traveller who is back to save the planet and is in Love.. meet OVASIS at 18 downing street :)

7.       Akila.. how on earth can I miss her out. I would not..!! her photo blog is spectacular.. no wait.. its SPECTACULAR..!!!  What more can I tell about her, I was on my usual routine of dropping the blog of all my followers and leaving a thank you note when I came across this lady and her amazing photo blog. We spoke through comments and then it moved to twitter. She is one of India’s (no,not kidding) best photographers and has a phto exhibition coming up soon at Chennai :) Ladies and gentlemen, the woman who made light wed its shadow.. I present you Akila Venkatramani..!!!

8.       I wouldn’t be true with my award distribution if I haven’t mention this one person. A silent killer is all I can say..!! I never knew his existence till I joined twitter, casual talks over tweets, now one of my closest tweet buddies.. another mallu who can write well and mix humor in it so well.. His quick guide to stay in an apartment can leave you in splits.. He a menon.. he is a VJ… and he has a underscore too..!! Ladies and gentlemen, please meet Vijay Menon and his blog here I am..!!!

Now I have made sure that I have added the respective links as well, so If you havent checked them out, do it NOW..!!!

And the ones I have not added is not because I dont read or like you.. Its just that I had to give it out to these people first..!! plus its post 2 at night and I have a early day tomorrow.. but dont loose heart, I still have another award to give out..!! so smile please :)

Well, that's all from the workshop.. the devil signing off.. Good night.. god bless you all..!!

P.S : I will be hibernating for a while now. The reason being not able to actually come up with something decent. I have hit THE wall over and over again. Plus I have a load of assignments, seminars, project reports to present that has occupied almost all the time and thought process. AM sorry.. pray for a speedy recovery if you miss me :) ask for more trouble if you hate me.. am on twitter if you wish to find me.. But hey.. I am not writing doesn't mean I wont be reading you..!! so keep posting.. Love you all.!!

Confused soul anyone ?

If any of you wondered why I dint comment on Shreya AKA confused soul’s blog then read on.

No.. that certainly not because am an ungrateful asshole.. neither because I dont care.. It just BECAUSE AM ON SEVENTH HEAVEN ( I am still not sure if there is more than one heaven to be on seventh but try and not think of stupid stuffs.. you are you.. not me. )

Okay.. Where were we ??

Ya,. ahemm.. Seventh heaven :)

The reason is that I got a post dedicated to me??????????

Well technically half..but CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THAT ??????? I mean after a whole lot of crapping and bull crap nonsense that I used to post, I was feeling that I live a life of a royal to have 39 followers but a HALF POST TALKING ABOUT ME????  Well, Shreya did that.. BUWAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAH…!!!!

And before any of go green with jealous... Let me add a bit of mirch to your… Not only she wrote about me but also gave me an award..!! *howzzattt ??*

Firstly I seriously from the bottom of my heart want to Thank you.. You are amazing. And Unbelievable too. :):):D Not only did you passed an award (AN ADORABLE AWARD!!!!!!?????????!!!!!!!!! ) but also you did manage to write so sweet things about me.  I yam so berry bery yappy..!! *sniff sniff* Kushi ke aansu da.. !!

Now to some serious stuffs.. Am not writing this because she wrote me one. Well honestly speaking she had this coming.  I have been just a lot busy with stuck in so many things that I couldn’t even respond back to the comments properly. But enough about me.. Let’s talk a confused soul shall we??

Now since you all have read about me at her space.. its my turn :) Hum eent ka jawab pathar se deenge..half blog ka award ka jawab full blog se deenge..!!! :D

Now she says she checked my blog and added me on twitter because I have a name that’s of a famous Malyalam Actor ?? The truth is that’s the same case here. I added her because she has the name of one my favourite singer..!! Shreya :D :D  believed that ?? yes ??

then wrong because I dint. In fact, I have no clue (till date ) how she landed up on my blog but she ended up adding me on twitter. Rest is history now.  She is one of the most jovial persom I have ever met. “Jaisa ek heera hi here ki.. jaise kaanta hi kaante.. jaise dard hi dard.. paagal hi paagal..    Shaaa.. how do you say this.. hmmm.. okaie.. If you have watched the movie MIB, you see how an alien recognizes another.. that’s exactly I recognized her. (A mallu can always find another. that's the law of nature to those who dint know. If we dont find one, we convert one into our kind but we always end up with another messed up creature like us ) A sweet looking soul on the outside, a fun loving mad devil on the inside. Her Libran scales are perfectly balanced that way :) and of course like a typical Libran She knows how to impress people and say the right things at the right time :) She is already so popular in twitter I tell you..!! 

A true mallu blood she too has a good loads of sense of humor running in her veins. Not only does she cracks funny ones, she even manages to understand my poor pathetic ones. Hence supporting me to actually take a carrier option in cracking PJs. I usually take time to gel with people. I go through my own phases to actually open up but with her I dint have to at all. We instantly started talking and the third tweet was in Malayalam and by the end of the day, we had exchanged loads of movie humor and youtube links. THAT’S THE MAGIC OF MISS CONFUSED SOUL.  What can I say about her that isn’t so obvious? She is out there and am sure almost everybody reading this post would be like “oh Shreya, I know her.. ya.. so true.. she so sweet..!! ya this guy is bullshit, I wonder why an award to him” . One thing I know the reason I felt so comfortable in the first few talk itself is because she is one person who doesn’t try and impose an impression on you of her being something she is not. In fact she doesn’t even make you the need of explaining yourself to her.  She is soft spoken, the best thing I like about her is that she is not nosey unlike most. That makes her a perfect person you wanna have when really run into trouble. If being an amazing person isn’t enough she is an amazing writer too..!! If you haven’t checked her walk across the bridge yet then you have to because you are definitely missing some good reads.  

AM seriously  so lost in my happiness that I cant figure out what exactly to say. Of all this nonsense the moral of the story is very simple : Thnak you Shreya :D you rock da.. and ya.. thank you for the award as well :)

Having said that I would also like to award her blog with the award I have :)

P.S : most of the things she says about me are true and I have no clue she got them.. including the lazy part in the comment reply to PeeVee except for the fact that I wasn’t lazy to leave a thank you.. I just wanted to make it seem nice enough for her :)

THE WAITING ROOM CHRONICLES

My head was splitting into two halves. I couldn’t take the pain. Maybe I should have had something.  An empty stomach was only adding up to state of misery. I sat all alone in a corner. The fans were not working and the room was pretty crowded. There were small groups spread across the room. I left my seat and took another empty lonely chair near the broken window.

I read the sign board again. WAITING ROOM it said. 

A cold breeze that was blowing through the broken window was the only good that had happened in the last past few hours. Suddenly to my left a group of boys, mostly from the northern parts of the country started to sing.

“Dulhe ka seharaa suhana lagta hain.. Dulhan ka toh dil deewana lagta hain”

While one fellow was trying his best to imitate khaddar khan from the song, the other few were under the spell of zakhir hussain and beating the table with their bare hands. A few girls looked at them and giggled. As soon as they saw that, the team jumped to more new and peppy tracks.

“Teri teerachi najar ne, dil ko kar diyaaaa paaeeenchaarrrrr…”

I felt that my brains would literally blast out and splutter all across the room. I tried looking out of the window at the road that connected the college.

“Owwwwww.. paanchaar..panchaar.. teri.. paaanchaar..paanchaar.. owwww paaanchaar.. paanchaar… teri..owwwwwwww”

The song and the singers had turned into a vicious monster torturing its kill before it eats it.

“Ankit..!!!” somebody screamed… “ANKITTTTTTTTTTTT” everybody screamed. The khaddar khan from the choir team got up. “Coming sir.” Packed his stuff and left. Everything went silent for a minute, and slowly the chatter began to continue. The choir team dint seem to mourn for their loss but immediately started a new track.

"Sandese aaaaatteee hain. humeeeee tadappaaaaa te hain..!!!"

Now to those who don’t have a clue what was happening, welcome to the waiting room. And what in the name of god was I doing there??? waiting for my turn to attend the HR round for Infosys.

*********************FLASHBACK**************

1989, 3^rd December.

I was 2 years old. My parents were.. wait a minute.. that too old. I dint mean to go that back in time. Sorry.

Well, flashback to yesterday night.

**********************

*phone rings.. sweet dreams by marlyin manson*

Me : yo.. ssup ??

Voice : daa.. did you hear the news ??

Me : nopes. Enlighten me.

Voice : its pool campus tomorrow at college.

Me : anddddd…???

Voice : GSSS is attending. Bwahahahahahhahahaaha

*GSSS is an exclusive girls engineering college. Strictly no male beyond the college gates. Urban legend/Rumor has it that the gates conceals some mind blowing babes behind it*

Me: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTT???? Buwahahahahahahahahhaha.. I joined.

Voice : so, whats the program ??

Me: serious bird watching. See you tomorrow. 9 at College CCD.

Voice : cool…!! Will summon the rest of the gang too.

Me :copy that. Over and out.

*********************

*Today morning*

I was waiting in the college CCD all alone. Not a single Di*k from my class had come yet. The urban legends were true. There were good chicks, there were better and then THERE WERE SOME BOMB CHICKS *whistles as I write* I was making a quick mental notes of the incoming flock and based on the groups they were forming classifying them into which college they would belong to.

Suddenly all of them were moving into the seminar hall. No signs of any of class boys. I had to either wait for them or follow the birds. I decided to do the latter. I quietly tip toed throwing frequent glances now and then at few good ones, separating the ugly ones and the okay types. Everybody took their seat. So did I. A man in suit came on to the stage and started talking which I hardly was paying attention. For obvious reasons he wasn’t half interesting as the girls around. I dropped some quick message telling them my current location but none had responded yet. I carefully looked around.

The nerdy ones were jotting to whatever he said. Few were busy chatting and texting. I was in midst of all these when a guy asked me “excuse me but aren’t you from Mtech?” “Yup” I replied. “They are asking for you” he said. 

What??” I was shocked…!!! How did they know that I was there? I was cornered and was asked to stand up. I blew up my cover. The man in the suit asked me if I was from Mtech and I nodded. He said if you get through you would be offered a different package. So best of luck.

There was a series of chuckle as I stood up. I knew the reason why. While he was explaining me my package, everybody was busy reading the quote on my back that said ENGINEER IMPOSSIBLE..!!! Apparently everybody finds that funny. I dont. That says the plight of every engineering student.

I received a message from a fellow comrade, will reach in an hour. Now having an hour to kill, I casually walked into the aptitude room where they were allotting seats. Sat down in midst of two pretty looking girls and hoped they would ask me for answers. (hehehehehehhe,*evil laught* sadly they dint. Grrrrrr..!!!) The paper was easy, I actually completed quite fast. Walked out to find the rest of the gang sitting in the CCD.

We were in midst of fully faltu(nonsense) talks, when our class CR came and said, “George, your name starts with George ??” “Ya, who told you that ?” I asked. George was my sir name and I never say that out. He said, “Nobody, it’s on the notice board, apparently everybody now knows it.” He smiled wickedly. “Now get up and hurry, you have an interview to attend.”

I rushed back to my room, quickly changed into formals, took all my certificates and rushed back and was asked to sit in the WAITING ROOM till they call me.

**********************

FLASH FORWARD-Present.

I plugged in my earphones and was listening to Led zeppelin when a boy tapped on the shoulder. “George, Are you George ?” “Yup,” I said “Prithviraj actually, that’s my sir name but whatever, what can I do for you ?” “Nothing, but if you want you can attend your HR interview. They are calling for you. you are up next.” He smiled and left.

I picked up my stuffs, packed them inside my bag. Pulled out my certificates. And walked in to find a lady sitting, waiting to take my interview.

I gave my interview, came back and slept off with my head on the desk for I couldnt take any of those chattering, singing ( ya, that was still happening and Ankit apparently had joined back leading the team ) or my very own headache.

************************

That was the end of the Waiting room chronicles.

P.S : By the way, I made it. Got selected J

P.P.S : to those who say Bird watching is a waste of time, I have a story to tell J J

Now Playing : Life sahi hai.. tension Nahi hai.. from Pyaar ka panchnaama J

I, Me, Myself

Honestly speaking, this is tough for me.

I received my first award from spiff. 

This award is special for me for so many reasons.

Firstly because this is my first ever blog award. *sniff..kushi ke aansu.. blows nose*

Secondly, this award was given to me by apna very own sensible sense and nonsense blogger Spaceman spiff who was the First person to follow me. ( trust me.. I did not bribe her..!! )

Now the drill to to tell you all guys a little something about me.

hmmmm.. actually THIS is the toughest part.

I have no clue on what am I supposed to say about myself that would be interesting enough for you all to read. And hence began a self introspection. 

and so here I am doing it.

1. I am always confused. At least most of the time. 

for example. did you know that if you keep a stack of dry hay and fresh grass on either side of a donkey and ask it to eat.. It will die of hunger ?? why ?? because its too very confused which one to start with. like that confused.

2. I have a habit of doubling up things. I end up having 2 of everything. 2 watches, shoes, slippers, bags, phones, toothbrush.. Not that I want to. I dont even realize until I have picked up the second one that I dint need it.

3. I love cartoon network. I love them to the extent that my parents get annoyed. I just cant move when they come on TV. Its like am frozen in time. My all time favorites are Dexter's lab, swat kats, centurions, ninja robots, Aladdin, duck tales, talespin, timon and pumba and the list goes on and on and on..!!! 

4. Its difficult for me to purchase anything. I cant buy 10 items in a single go. I have to see my options. I check out all possible outlets and most importantly what I want to pick should speak to me.. make me feel that if I dont pick that up.. its one of the worst mistake of my life. and another thing... please dont buy me anything. If you want to.. ask me.. I'll tell you.. buy me that and I shall be very happy. :)

5. I am very very very possessive about my stuffs. I hate sharing and I watch over them more carefully than I watch over myself.  I have to write my name on the books I purchase immediately as soon as I pay for them. I dont give out or share books until I want you to read. But after you read, please return it the way I gave you. This applies for only books. NEVER EVER ASK ME FOR MY LAPTOP, MOBILE, or MY CAMERA. The answer will always be NO.!!!

6. When I was a kid, I wanted to be everything.. doctor, pilot, bus conductor, engine driver.. then when I realized that I couldn't do it all, I wanted to be an actor.I always wanted to be in the movie business. Maybe act. mostly direct. I was a star in school and college plays. Writing mad ads was my forte. I am writing a script for my friend who is a small time director. I had written lyrics for his last venture. I wanna start writing and directing small documentaries once I retire from my work. and by retire I dont mean to work till 60.

40 tak note chaapo.. phir RETIRE...!! :D

7. I love cooking.  As much as eating.

In fact I love to eat what I cook. And.. I am not a bad cook either. 

I actually love watching cookery shows, learning up recipes ( okay.. i dont note it,, just memorize stuffs) and they I try. I also love to mix it up and try different stuffs..!! Last I came up was a mocktail I call Kabuki 2060.

watermelon+spoon of rosewater+Ice cubes+Sugar. 

Blend them into a thick froth. Pour half glass of sprite and then the froth. Mint leaves on the top. :)

Well those are 7 random things about me. 

no wait.. 7 is a odd number.. lets even it up..!!

8. Am a big movie freak. If at all you catch me saying "am busy" and drop the call.. then that means I am watching a movie. And I love watching movies alone. because when I watch a movie I go into a lot of technicality. like the cinematography, frames, angles along with the plot. So I wouldn't be in a position to enjoy a nice conversation. Please dont ask me to accompany for a movie and expect me to sit and talk/discuss how thin the heroine is or how handsome/beautiful the guy/girl next row is. I am not interested. I might not even be listening. If you wanna talk.. lets stay OUTSIDE the movie theater and TALK.  

Honestly It took me 3 and half hours to come up with this.

Am sorry.. maybe I'll write more when I think of something interesting about me.

Till then, love you all..!!

Never mess with a Women..!!!

P.S : I just am not able to stand this headache..!!!
I cant think straight. I have so much blog about.. but I can see it through wit this headache..!!!
This is not my work.. read it on my friends notes.. found it very hilarious and hence sharing. 
This posting has nothing to do with my mental block and not able to write anythin original state.
i shall rise back.. like phoenix..from this headache and blog..!!!!


Sachi..!! gaad fromise..!!!
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The FBI had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.

Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

MORAL: Women are crazy. Don't mess with them.

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by the way.. have you checked my photoblog ??
If no ?? then do it before I get to know it and transfer this headache to you.. trust me.. you dont want that..

A WEEK THAT WASN'T...It ends today..!!

Hellons..!!!

Pardon me.. I have developed a weird habits of making up new words and messing up the spellingsss of the yexisting vones...!!!

okay before any of you decide to unfollow me.. let me keep a check on myself and talk something sensible.

Well, a lot of things happened this week..
 I'll do it in points for easy readdssssss damn read.

1. I went home after a long time and my parents left the place. No literally.. and I wasnt even surprising them like always.. *it was a planned conspiracy*
the reason was they that wanted to visited sister and my lovely, beautiful, and supercute neice..!! (aaakhir bhaanji kisiki hain..??? )

2. I was home alone... Almost a week.. and it was bliss..!!!!!!
Sleep whenever you want.. wake up whenever you want.. cook what ever you want.. loads of ice tea.. and a book..!!!
*buwahahahahaha to all those who were feeling jealous*

3. I picked up some amazingly hilarious books which I waould definetly  would definitely  suggest provided you are interested in mad reads like I am..
(a) The day My Butt Went Psycho
(b) Molly Moon's Incredible Book on Hypnotism
(c) Diary of a Wimpy Kid
(d) the Curious Incident of the dog In The Night Time.

4. Laila and Sophie dont gel along anymore..!! that doesn't mean that they mind their own business and stay out of each others way..and I had a tough time keeping them apart..!! and Sophie is too naughty to take care off.. hadn't she been so cute.. I wouldn't have cared a damn...!!!
P.S : Laila is my cat and Sophie my German Shepard.

5. One hungry afternoon, I was attacked my a snake and before I could get into action and run away, I realized that it dint wanna feast on me.. It preferred a frog instead. I felt bad a bit losing my level of preference as a potentially relish able dish to a frong frog actually. not that am happy of not being that fellow's afternoon snack.. but still.. aisa uss frog mein kya tha jo mujh me nahi ??? :D

 This is in case you dint believe me.. there it goes..!!!!

6. My maid loved my cooking.. in fact I tried out various new recipes and she survived them all..!!! *yay*

7. I am in love with twitter and some amazing people I have met through that. Thank you twitter. I just imagine a day without talking to you guys now and doing all that sooper fuckery nonsense :) :)

8. My dad is worried why I dont have a girlfriend..!!! *what is the world coming to ???* I almost had to CONVINCE him that i just haven't met the right one yet. I dont think he bought that.. in fact he feels I am hiding it.Not that he would do a big drama out of it if he knows.. He's the most chilled out person with a terrible temper I have ever met.!!! *There you go.. ya.. I was born into a crazy family*

9. By the way.. have you checked out AKILA ??? check her out.. I meant check her blog out..!! *filthy minds*
she is an amazing Photographer and I let her work speak for herself. click here
and she also writes beautifully here

10. I had clicked loads and loads of pictures for the weekend blog edition..but after seeing (Chintan, Akila Kaveer)'s photo blogs.. I decided to start a photo blog for myself and from now on.. I shall be posting photos on my new blog..
its called POCKET FULL OF POSES.

And Red.. your challenge is almost completed.. I am putting it in parts... so keep a check :)

Please go ahead, add my photo blog and feel free to shower me with appreciations. Comments.. well.. mail me..!! hehhehehehehehe :P
P.S : I also take cash and pizza treats.. just in case..!!!

Issi ke saath aaj ke samamchaar samapt hote hain..!!!
Subh raatri..

Okay before we go..
Meet my darling.. Laila..!!! deep in sleep lying next to me..!!! ( she is a sweetheart and Damn Intelligent. According to mom and dad.. better than me in most cases. I beg to differ. )

CHEERS....!!!!!!!!!! :) :)

Sach Ka Saamnaa... Rakhi Sawant

P.S : This is a Long Post..!!! ZULMI was being aired on TV and trust me the movie IS definitely what the title suggests. It was during one of the breaks(phew..!!) that I had an Epiphany..!! About the Truth. The truth About Rakhi Sawant. I suggest you grab a coke and pop corn before reading..!!!
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When Rakhi sawant proclaimed her unconditional love for Baba Ramdev, she became the center of media insult and mockery of many. She fell in love with him because he fought against corruption. His yoga made her lose weight (this was funny.) and that because he is sexy..!!! (Wow.. I never knew that  a squint and a beard can turn her ON..!!! ).The tabloid sadly used her, her comments and future plans (which included a makeover of Baba and his looks) to fill empty spaces they had reserved for Anna hazzare and his statements which was called off.

Mocking her is easy...But nobody dares to know The Real Rakhi Sawant. Hence the post..!! Read On..*if you can handle the truth* 

Rakhi Sawant’s exact date of birth is still under debate. Archeologists claim that Rakhi was discovered frozen (in her THE now form) in the age that saw the perish of the mighty Dinosaurs. However though they couldn’t link her discovery and the exact reason for extinction of dinosaurs, they never denied this claim. They have found a staggering similarity in the brain size of the dinosaur and Miss Rakhi herself which was quite astounding small.
Other set of researchers claim that Rakhi was the missing link between the apes and the mankind. An X-ray analysis of her jaw line and prominent facial features closely relating to that of the orangutan strongly justifies their point in the debate of her origin. Their story is stated as the possible evolution could have happened during the dawn of the ice age when two orangutan might have mated under the heavy exposure of UV shower from the sun. Her temper levels and attention seeking nature is said to be the result of a heavy mutation lacking brain and mouth co-ordination. (BTW, another secret news Since this mutation was never considered as a super power, Rakhi's request to join the X-Men was denied.)

On the contrary to these facts provided by the world famous archaeologists, the medical fraternity have come up with their own explanation and claiming that Rakhi was one of the medicines first ever miracle. She was the first ever artificially synthesized non bio degradable human made of 100 percent vegetarian animal parts. They have stated very strong evidence to support their theory with the exact blue print of her body structure and silicon parts. Champak bhumiya, a famous Indian medical historian now settled in the lower ridge of the artic belt has agreed to this information. Champak bhumiya, fondly a Champu among penguin and walrus friends had specialized his study of her. He in an exclusive interview confirmed that she was the result of massive German experiment. She and many more copies of her were supposed to form a team performing an extensive wipe out job in killing the allies’ forces and winning the war for them. Unfortunately before this project never materialized as the Nazis lost the war and this facility was shut down in time. However she ( the prototype ) escaped, and took refuge in Indian Cinema. They claim that her loud mouth attitude and “yell to tell” nature was a special feature added to compliment the Furor Hitler himself.

With two major branches in science fighting for this her, the church has also joined this claim game. Rubbishing all the facts stated by science (like always) the Vatican said that the story of Rakhi has been removed from the bible on an undisclosable reason. However a secret source from the pope’s bathroom leaked this information online yesterday.  Rakhi was the initial and only creation that Satan ever made. He had created her in order to tempt man with the forbidden fruit but she instead started entertaining him with some sensuous item numbers. (There by laying the foundation stones for the idea of the need of strip clubs in the mind of men.)
Disappointed, Satan took matter in his own hands and tempted eve, who was roaming around pissed off with Adam and his lack of attention towards her. While all this was happening, Adam was still dancing to the “chadti jawani” song with Rakhi. This theory answers the question that many atheists have asked over years “where was Adam when Eve was being tempted with the Apple?”  Later when Adam and eve were banished out of the paradise, Rakhi was condemned to India. Her arrival marked the decline of Saas Bahu dramas and the rise of Totally-scripted-reality shows like Rakhi Ka Sawyamvar, Raaki ka insaaf, Pati, patni aur Woh, Gajab desh ji Ajab kahani and many other talk shows that Rakhi herself hosted. Sources say Indian population was on a all time rise as couple found more time for each other than watching T.V as she ruled all channels.

 Rakhi had maintained a low profile throughout till she won the “Ugliest man contest” held in the interior galis of Bombay. Rakhi was instantly noticed and approached by many producers from the B town, the poplular being the Ramsey brothers. Like a the Salman-Bharjatiya team gave epic family drama hits.. Rakhi and Ramsey brothers collaborated in many Horror films with Rakhi playing the role of lead actress ghost. Films like “purani haveli mein bhoot naye naveli”, “Choli ke peeche..ek dukhi aatma” “daroege phir maroge” being a cult hit. Her natural expression and makeup less face scared the s#it out of people worldwide. She also voiced for the horror animation “ek bhoot Bandar ke andar”. Though the movie did not do well, her natural voice and expressions for both monkey and the ghost was widely appreciated by critics. This bond broke when Rakhi wanted to do some item numbers as ghost in the movie to which the Ramsey brother declined there by ending the golden era of Hindi horror film industries.

Many know her for the Mika Singh kiss episode, her break up with then boyfriend some XYZ Awasthi , her swayamvar(WTF??) on T.V, then again her break up with the media husband.. Rakhi has done it all. Her show “Rakhi ka insaaf” was stopped after one fellow killed himself post her verdict. (true story btw) but many don’t know that she also sang and acted as a supergirl generated from a computer (again true story). but nobody knows her irreplaceable contribution to the entertainment world. She provided the feedback for the Spielberg team for the behavioral patterns of the dinosaurs for the movie Jurassic Park. The facial image structure for Godzilla and Jaadu in Koi Mil Gaya(Proof apart from looks, Jaadu did a dance remember ??? ). Her recent being the Intelligent Ape in the Rise Of Ape flick. Now the sole reason why she never made a big deal of all these is because she is humble. She doesn't believe in showing off something thats too obvious.

Now with all these contributions to the mankind by a single person, you tell me.. is she a media/ attention seeking woman ?? try judging her..??? Can you?? Will you dare to ?? huh ?? huh ??
  

What ?? you have better things to do ??

Oh yeah.. that’s what I thought too.. but then you see.. heights of joblessness… :) :)


Now Playing :Hai hukoo hai hukoo hai hai.. Ek ladki mere saamne.. Hai hukoo hai hukoo hai hai..!!!

Liar.. Liar..!!!!

Have you had this experience when you feel that your life is moving at a pace beyond control. 
when things are happening so fast that before you can react, the moment is passed and its gone..??


When ever I feel I have too much on my plate and that Life is moving at a rate I cant handle, I just run back home.. No.. No to cry and complain about it to my maa..but to slow down.

When parents decided that they would wanna settle down in a quiet village near Subramanya, honestly I was not supportive, but I now know why. :)
Well, I am back home.. All alone.. Maa n Paa are in Calicut.. enjoying their time with my niece :) Am all HOME ALONE HERE. But Its a nice feeling because life here doesn't start before 9 in the morning and 9 at night all lights go off..!!! :) Its been raining heavily and the thunder and lighting are all time worse. The positive side is being alone at home, I have the luxury to cook what ever I want.. plus I spend more awful time now either reading or writing. which leads us to today's post... 

Suppose you know me.. very well for example. And one day I say...

I AM A VERY GOOD LIAR WHO LIES ALL THE TIME SO CONVINCINGLY THAT YOU WOULDN’T EVEN REALIZE OTHERWISE.

Now tell me honestly, what was the first thing that came into your mind ??

That am a liar.. and I lie all the time and am really good at it.. right??

This makes you doubt everything I have said so far. sometimes might even hurt you for believing me. But here is another way of looking at it.

What if this is true.??

That I am a liar.. and I lie all the time. And am really good at it. A quite convincing one. 

Then I might be lying even when I said I lie all the time. That means "I don’t lie all the time". In fact the very fact that I am a good liar can be a lie. And that I can be a bad liar.. but then if I am a bad liar, then would I be able to lie good ??? That means since I am a bad liar, you would never have believed in whatever I said. Since you never believed in it, you already knew that I am a liar and am lying.Also its possible that the fact that I said that "I am a liar" is a lie which means I am not a liar. And if am not a liar I am an honest man who says nothing but the truth. That means you "never" believed me for all the truth I ever told you ?? Now THAT hurts..!!!

Now feeling better. I just proved that I am not a liar from my own statement in which I said I am liar. 

But If I am not a liar then, I am a honest person who doesn’t lie. Who says nothing but the truth.?? In that case the question in hand would be why did I lie then ?? and also If that’s true.. then since I don’t lie, I always say what is true and that means that the above statement in which I said I am liar,in fact a good liar who lies all the time is true. If the fact that I am a liar is true then am I liar again ???

GOD...!!!! Who am I ???? :)

BTW, Comment section is free..so, feel free to use..Bindaas..!!! :) 

P.S : A VERY WARM WELCOME TO ALL THE NEW MEMBERS WHO HAVE JOINED THE DEVIL'S WORKSHOP..!!!  Am delighted to have you all..Thank you to all.  :) Also a small confession, I do read all blogs Just because I dont comment, please dont think I am not reading your blogs.. I read everyday before I sleep.The reason I dont comment most times my phone acts more crazier than me and not letting me comment. Also a request to the bloggers who have Word verification activated.. please remove it... its irritating at times.

P.P.S :Those who are pissed with me that I haven't updated the mobile version of my blog, in my defense, am still getting a hang over my blog.. I will soon upload the mobile version for my blog. 

Cheers..!!!! :)