Kaash

Hi there,

I know its been a really long long hibernation but trust me I have been missing writing a lot.

Somehow with the new environment I am in, I feel totally brain dead..!!! I just wish I could write like how I used to. I have developed kinda liking towards Hindi poetry these days.. so after a series of mind churning effort, here I am back on my blog shamelessly apologizing to whoever missed me or my blog. This is for all you folks :)

KAASH

Ek baat dil mein hain kahi dabi, 

sadiyon se dhoond rahi woh kuch alfaaz hai.

Tere mere khamoshiyon mein chupi,

Shayad woh koi ankahi dastaan hai.

Jo baat tumhari aanke hai keh rahi,

kaash mein unhe labzon mein keh paata,

Jo sadiyon se chal rahi hai yeh waqt,

kash main usse kuch der humare liye rok paata.

Asmaan mein udti panchi ko dekho,

Panchi jise na kal ki fikar sataye.

Panchi jiske paro ke aage iss hawa ne bhi hai sar jukhaye.

Kash hum bhi apne par khol paate,

hawa ki lehron ke sang hum udd paate,

toh yeh dabi baat kehane ki koshis bas koshis na rahti.

#Now Playing : Yeh tumhari meri baatein From ROCK ON !!

P.S : sorry if there is any grammatical error, my grammar in Hindi is as weak as my grammar in English.

P.P.S : I hope to say this: I AM BACK :) 

P.P.S.S : Its good to be back..!!

The end ??

There is always a reason why things happen in our life.
I started blogging out of the blue..
got awful comments... made some amazing friends...
realized that I could never become an author but that doesn't  mean I could never tell stories.

with life bringing more and more surprises each day and not a single idea that I could actually blog, I wonder if its the end of my blog ???

we have entered the 24000 year cycle that the Mayans called the "Rebirth" or that some call as the end of the world. With the world supposedly ending, I hardly doubt that my blog would be missed by any of the survivors.  I mean its hard for me to imagine people sitting in giant steel bunkers inside the earth core and telling kids the story of a blog and of the self proclaimed superhero who wrote it.

But then, There never is an end for real, or is there ???

Nothing Else Matters

I was swinging excessively from left to right. I looked like a crane with one leg in the air. The difference was that I was trying to tying my shoe lace instead of fishing. Couple of death defying stunts and switch of legs happened but the shoe laces were tied. I combed my hair for the sixth time now. The cave man look was gone and I looked evolved. I was finally meeting her after so long, a year approximately, 10 months 23 days to be specific and I wanted everything to be right.

********

I just can’t understand girls. She was talking on and on. I was trying hard to focus but then, the rate at which she talking and I understood were different. It was like watching those foreign movies were the dialogs came first and then the subtitles appeared on the screen. Most times I just nodded to make sure that she doesn’t find out. Hmmmmm…. Wow... She looked so cute... and she twitched her nose at times while talking..!!! Aaahhhh…. first love. Bliss.!!! J

*phela nasha on radio while I was running in between the canteen tables and waiter in slow motion in my mind*

********

Wow… the traffic was amazingly stagnant. It was just like the queue in front my office. The query and complaint sections of electronic cookers had a long line every day. Most times people came up for refunds and our job was to decline their claim. It was feeling horrible sitting inside the rickshaw while the traffic behaved like an adamant child who has been denied chocolate and wouldn’t budge or move till it gets what it wants. I was more worried about the sweat patch on my shirt’s arm pit region that was slowly showing up. L I prayed she was late too. I dint want to show up late like always.

*********

Karma is a bitch. I wonder what makes her go on and on. Surprisingly she could never stop talking. It was nice at first. But then she never lets me talk. Not that I am a very conversationalist but how could somebody talk so much. Most things she spoke about never made sense. The reason I used to let her talk instead of me trying to because then it would become a conversation which most times ended up as fights over silly issues. The sad part was not the fight. The sad part was the piling up. Every fight brought up past sins. Stuffs that would have happened months ago. Stuffs that you thought were over come out of the dead and haunt you every time there was an argument. WHY ON EARTH WOMEN SO COMPLICATED????

**********

 She looked so beautiful. A year. It seemed like time never touched her. She was the same to the last detail. She smiled while I was talking. I WAS TALKING??? Actually I was on roll. She sat there, saying nothing but just with a smile. The place was playing Hotel California to which she was moving her lips. It was her favorite song. She loved me playing it on my guitar for her. I slightly started singing along with it when she stopped her lip sync and looked at me as if I had just offended her. K

**********

The more time we spent together, more we realized how much distant we had gone from each other. Once clouded with love, we could barely talk to each other for long without reaching for each other’s throats. I was kind of seeing somebody else and it almost seemed like so was she. We were still together because neither of us wanted to be the person who slit the relationship and look like the villain of the story. That was until she caught me with another girl. Pants down.

***********

We ate mostly in silence except for the few occasional nods and sounds of affirmation from both ends. She was keeping the talks to minimum. I finally did ask the big question, “Anything else you want to order?” I couldn’t believe myself that I just asked “THAT” instead of “THAT” what I was hoping to ask. She politely nodded no. She unlike me never seized upon the opportunity of free food.  I virtually punched myself till I bled out and died.

***********

Every break up if was not your call is followed by heavy brooding sessions. So was mine. Remember the feeling when you start missing something once lost, it was stinking that feeling all over me. Rum helped a bit. Or so I thought. The ordeal with the other girl never worked. What was I thinking? It never would have worked. I tried calling her back. But she was gone. But the guy she sort of was seeing. Well the “sort of” was out of the way now.

**********

“Soooo…” I extended the “oooo” part hoping my mind would feed the rest. Sadly it dint. The lunch was done with. The dessert cups empty. I was wondering what more could I order to make her stay. I could have just apologized and asked her for another chance. After the guy she was dating after me too dint work that well or for long. Something said that she might still feel for me. How?? Well she was here, right in front after all that happened, wasn’t she?? “Shall we leave?” she finally starting a conversation of the past hour the meeting. This was good. I nodded yes. “You could ring that bell if you loved the food and ambience!!” I showed her the big giant bell hung in a corner. She nodded no.

*********

“Hey listen, I never could say how sorry I really am” I finally had started talking something useful. She looked at me like she was expecting this from long. “There hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t regretted what I did. It’s just that each day I wish if I could do something to take it all back, you know…” She hugged me while I was trying to tell her what I could never say. And the world stopped. J  And the car honked so loud that I woke up from my day dream.

**********

I still hadn’t said a word. It was now or never, so I tapped on her shoulder and said “Hey listen…..”She turned with a smile around and continued instead, “thank you so much for the wonderful lunch” It was so nice to see after so long. Listen, am getting married next week, I know it’s a short period of time but you surfaced back from your exile suddenly. I hope whatever happened between us is all in the past. I am really looking forward to see you there” and handed me her wedding card.

While she climbed into the auto, I was waving my hand like the kids along the railway track waving at each passing train. I stopped waving having realized that she wasn’t paying attention. She looked at me with so many questions that I could never answer. Maybe I should have never hibernated off from everybody. Maybe I should have never come back. I threw away the card after the auto left. And looked myself in the reflection of the car in the parking lot. Receding hair line and flourishing pot belly. I pulled my stomach back and in half breath cried out “RICKSHAWWWWWW”.

*********

This was the best feeling of being in love. Being in her arms. She always cuddled while making requests for what to sing for her. Strumming my guitar, while she rocked, holding me and resting her head on my shoulders. “So close no matter how far...” College would end in another year and tomorrow shall come with new responsibilities, tomorrow shall come with its own worries, tomorrow shall come with its own new set of problems and solutions but for now as long as I was with her, I cared less about anything else than her. Nothing else mattered. 

NOW PLAYING : NOTHING ELSE MATTERS from Metallica

P.S : For those who understand, its present- past- present format.

P.P.S : Look for the color code. should help

P.P.S.S : Happy Ganesh Chaturti to all..!! God bless you all :)

Superhero Diaries Part Deux

Chronicles Of Superrrnickkk

I sit on my roof top facing the cold breeze. My cape fluttering in the air was trying to choke me. As I kept the watch over the western horizon, in my mind I was humming the classic Bollywood track “hawa mein udati jaye”. I tried adjusting it but it was in vain. Finally, I got up, held my cape and sat on it. Being a superhero is not easy. It was never easy for Peter Parker, Bruce Wayne of Clark Kent either. I was sitting on the highest point my building could offer. (Actually the highest point was the water tank but climbing it was a daring feat and the last time’s attempt and half-slip had scared me for life about heights and water tanks. Since then, the inner edge was my safe spot to find crime.)

*facing the camera with a glee and smile*

By the way for those who don’t know me, I am advocate of justice, defender of liberty and the last hope of freedom… I am Superrrnickkk,(longer version of this intro had A self proclamined superhero, a piece of perfection and a masterpiece of pure aura etc but then, you know, crime doesn’t waitthat long or let me finish. So..) and you shall be knowing me from the famous titles (awaiting publications, interested female readers please send me a mail with your full size photos) like “Superrrnickkk and the guards of Jantar Mantar”, “Superrrnickkk and the raiders of paradise apartments” and the erotic crime thriller “Superrrnickkk and busting busty Mrs. Bhatia”.(Parental advisory required). 

I am not your regular superhero. I am Superrrr hero. I was chosen into this life on the night my younger sister was born. (first timers, read this, THE ORIGIN.) Since then, my life had shown me some unbelievable things that you faint hearts can’t survive. Many ordeals with my younger sister, baby sitter whom I was convinced ate little kids for breakfast, my parents, ex-girlfridays, I survived and kept the crime fighting saga alive. But as I watched the sun set, I held in my hand the device, a phone that was forced on to me by my parents to keep a constant track of me. (They just wouldn’t buy the fact that a superrr hero needs to stay off grid.)

Anyways,the main point of writing this blog is to share my experience and not to *chokes, coughs, entering cardiac arrest, recovers* win any cool I pads.*chokes and coughs again. This is a 3 part sequel to the Origins post, Chronicles of Superrrnickkk. So once you have refreshed the first part, enter the world with the eternal fight between good v/s evil. This part is called

Superrrnickkk and the Wrath of Facebook.

3 days ago.

I was sitting in my front porch and surfing Facebook and twitter responding to my fans, trying to keep a check if crime was loitering around while I was home eating butter soaked parathas. Least did I know that the tentacles of the cyber-crime was spreading its veins and spinning its viscious web around me. As I sat there unaware hogging on to the tasty parathas, I got a notification on my facebook account.

A Friend Request.

A friend request that popped my eyes open and made my jaws drop.

My father’s picture was on the profile. As I rubbed my eyes to confirm, I realized that I should have washed my hands and the pickle now in my eyes burnt the crap outta me. I dropped everything and ran blindly towards the bathroom knocking a million things on my way before immersing my head in the water. Feeling better and with water filled eyes, I ran upstairs to find my father sitting there in front of the computer and his Facebook account. He noticed his son staring at him and gleeed up…!!!

 “come beta come, look, I opened an account for myself in Facebook. Did you accept my friend request??” he said it all in a single breath while gesturing me to sit next to him.

 I silently sat while his proud wife joined him to appreciate the marvel of modern day internet and social networking. 
“Open one for me too” she said. I want an account too. Open one for me and send friend request to kids and you also add me. Okay jee??” 
As my mother India went back to her kingdom called "PARANTHA-PIA", I sat there with half of my brain still trying to comprehend my dad’s new presence in my virtual life and the other half trying to decode the strange relationship that my mother and her parathas. 

I gathered courage from the bottom of my heart and asked my dad “Wow dad, Facebook huh??? Cool” as I faked an excited a tone. “How come suddenly??” 
He adjusted his reading glasses and kept stuck his gaze to the screen. NO Reply.

After a minute reading all the possible things that showed up on his wall (including the ads) he turned around a and said, “arey nothing suddenly and all, this time when Sweety (my younger sister, jiska khoon mere haathon se likha hain) had come home for vacations, I was asking her about it, she instead opened an account for me. Now that I had an account I was trying to learn it up. After all I need to keep myself updated na??” He replied with a bone crushing thump on my back. 

I smiled back pretending to be alright. I knew I would survive the thump but I was not sure how long would I survive this “dad-in-facebook-reading-my-wall posts” shock. At times like this mind registers only two things. Fight or flee. And I decided to Flee. As I was getting up, my dad caught hold of me and asked, “Come here, accept my friend request and show me a thing or two about this. What makes you people so crazy over this site??” I tried faking a call from my mother to which my mom from the kitchen responded that she dint call me. 

I logged him out and logged in to “ACCEPT” his “FRIEND REQUEST”. 

The curious doubts of the Benjamin button sitting next to me staring (at the computer screen and my Facebook wall with the same intensity of a sixteen year old who was being introduced to the world of porn) started. “What is this?” he asked pointing at my cover picture “how do you have two photos here??” 

I told him the feature that Facebook had forcefully introduced onto us called timeline and he nodded. “So is it compulsory??” he asked again half in air as if he was asking my permission to ask. “NO, you won’t be asked to pay fine if you don’t put one” I replied. He nodded. “I will. Help me select a nice one.” I was virtually banging my head against the wall. 

“How do I see my friends here?” Benjamin button was indeed very curious and was on roll. “Do you have any friends added?” I retorted back. 
“You are now. Aren’t you? You added me right?” He gave his famous dimpled smiled. 

I nodded before furiously tapping on to the computer keyboard. A few clicks later I looked at him and said “there, I have sent a friend request to Sweety too.”
 As we shared a father-son smile and moment, my cell phone beeped with a text message from Sweety that read “Bitch”. My smile rose. As I gave a brief tutorial to my father on how “Make the most” of his Facebook account, He got a notification popped. Sweety had accepted his friend request. Soon another notification popped. Sweety has poked you. And that was it. 

Curious Mr Benjamin button started his rain of questions again on me. “What is this?  What does poked you mean? Why did sweety poke me? Can I also poke other people? Random people? Can random people also poke me back ? is it like a game? Points?” and so on.

 It rained for the next 15 minutes and while I answered his question each time, he was playing poke game with Sweety. He liked it. I nodded my head. Let him play with his little devil and walked back to my now soggy parathas. As I sat again tired, I got a notification. My father was poking me. I decided to ignore it and focus my attention towards the tasty food in front. 10 minutes later, I heard him call out my name asking me to respond to his poke..!!! *KILL ME NOW*

*Flash Forward* Present day roof top.

Now that my mother also had an account, I get pokes from my creators. In any case the pokes aren’t returned, my parents drop a call to notify me of it. Apparently their notifications require mandatory action of response. Worst part is still not over. Dad is now totally into playing Farmville and cityville and what not. While His wall seems like somebody suffering from an OCD to play games on Facebook all day, mine is now filled with his game notifications and request for nail, plant, plank and what not !!! *headdesk*

Oh wait a minute, it looks like a possible going to be crime scene. Gotta go fellas. Find a nice spot to hide to make a perfect entry. *runs towards the stairs* damn it’s a long way down.. I think I will wait for the elevator.

*ting-the elevator rings*

See you when I see you then..
*gets inside the elevator* and oh yeah.. #Soak No more in fear.. because superrrnickkk is here. (just in case the judges decide to give me the ipad, I don’t want them to DQ my entry cos I dint have the key word)

Till then… superrrnickkk… up up awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…
*elevator door closes*

P.S : Sorry for the paste eating lunatic level of post, but I think somebody has robbed me of my funny bone.

P.P.S : More dangerous sequels the lists of chronicles of superrrnickkk are on its way. And FYI by dangerous I meant more dangerous in terms of death defying actions and risk with a spine chilling story and not the read quality or experience. So stay tuned. Please.

P.P.S.S : any publishing house interested to make graphic novels for the above mentioned and yet to come awesome titles and series, feel free to contact me. If people can pay to watch Ra.One, I strongly believe my chronicles have a potential. So please think about it..!!


Superman and sipderwoman romancing each other..?? Check out the Superman's armpits for sweat patches 

This post is for the Surf Excel Matic - #SoakNoMorecontest organised by Indiblogger

The Dark knight Rises..!! *kind of*

It’s been a long time since I have blogged.

The reason is not very complicated at all. Actually it’s not one reason that kept me away from blogging. Its multiple ones that led my writing abilities (at least i would like to put it that way) to rot.

The past few months have been quite eventful and like a pious blogger had a draft ready to post for each special occasion. Be it me falling in love or turning 25.(sigh), yup a post for every single incident.

*yes... excuse me..?? you with the hand waving in the air. Yes..?? where are those posts ?? ya ya am coming to that...kill joy*

so...I was saying.. yup.. a post for every single incident.. that I wrote but never posted. because I was too lazy to do it. I actually was too lazy to edit them and just post it on my blog. Instead I chose to put them back in the drafts folder with the rest of my unfinished writing.

Most of those drafts are my desperate attempt to write something meaningful, funny, and inspiring or at least creative. But like I said most of them are just "attempts" *doing the girly quote finger sign. Going through them made me wonder if at all I was a tooth paste eating lunatic who is trying real hard to go unnoticed among the sane people but can’t avoid the stares of the world around him as he forgot to wipe the foam around his mouth.

I really needed to write something.

 Correction.

 I really need to write something and post it on my blog.

 I needed the blog to be resurrected back from its grave. My Blogazrus need a Jesus "blog" Christ to do the rising act.

As I did a mental surfing of the topics I could possibly write on which even included some half-baked attempts on poetry, short story, cooking recipe that made no sense and so on. I decided to go ahead and pull the plug and end my blog with an obituary as it was a pain to see my blog just lying there and expecting a miracle. But then, I decided not to do it. Standing on my roof top when I was going through an emotionally hard phase whether to keep or kill my blog, I saw the (annoying) kid next door smile at me. Now my hatred towards kids are quite popular in my closed circles and I had almost half planned to go pied piper on the kids in my locality. But then, irrespective of my eternal hatred towards them, I feel one of the worst thing that could ever happen to me was growing up.

I wish I would have never grown. As a chubby kid, short for my age, I was totally adored, worshipped and loved by kids in my neighbourhood. Sadly the parents always felt otherwise. I miss the days of going to school, waiting for the P.T period, sharing tiffin in classes during lunch breaks, throwing stones at mangoes on the way back, and finishing home work to watch Aladdin while mom would prepare lip smacking dishes to eat. To boo girls who would want to join us in cricket, chase street dogs away, sitting under the tree for long after the game discussing why exactly lost and whom we could blame it for. The time when you could randomly run around and that never had to mean anything. the time when we would hide and see the local couples hold hands while they walk and drop jaws. A time when I thought that flying kites were the only way to spend a windy Sunday afternoon. And that its always safe to pocket extra stones while picking up the stones for lagori if you REALLY wanted to win. The cycle bell on the street meant ice cream is on sale and the time when pink wasn’t gay. Umbrellas in rain where never straight and the king of rains would be decided by who could splash more water out of the muddle. A time when being rude meant to ring the bell of the neighbour and running away and being abusive meant calling somebody "Donkey".

I could go on and on about my childhood but then, when i wonder what really happened between and now.. I always say with a sigh. Life happened.. I grew up..!!!

But hey, that wasn’t that bad.. I mean.. growing up brought its own perks.

There was acne which luckily never troubled me as much it did to my bench mate Anil. Then there was porn.. I must say I was indeed surprised to know that I was not from a bee sting. Mithun da was too expressive in his pelvic region while Dharmendra was too flexible with his biceps when the tunes played (things that I otherwise wouldn’t have noticed). New things I learnt were the abusive languages. My cartoons got upgraded to Hindi dubbed English series that aired on Sony and then took a complete transformation to full scale English series and to Hollywood flicks. First kiss, college, drinking became cool... smoking was in vogue, and of course sex.. aah.. the sex...hmmmm...!!! :D  Holding hands between couple was no longer jaw dropping. Neither was the fact if anybody tried cowboy/cowgirl on each other. being gay no more meant being happy. iron maiden, Metallica took over back street boys and spice girls. Britney spears on whom I once had hots for now was a slut. being seen with one girl for long was no longer cool. The exponential curve of growing up was on full rise and so did I.

and whatever goes up comes down.. Says gravity.. and so I rolled down. Long story. Some other day.  As I came out the time wrap I saw the kid was still looking at me, smiled and took the courage to wave his hand at me. I smiled back while I secretly searched for anything to throw at him.

Bleedy burger..!!!

*What ???? Look man.. I had a nice childhood.. and I seriously hated growing up.. but I did.. that doesn’t mean that a  small nostalgic trip down the memory lane would change what I feel towards this nasty rascal living next door or any kid for that matter of fact*

*"Silly humor from TV commercial" time*

The trip to the local mall : 25 rs

A packet full of ballons : 15 rs.

The joy of throwing stinky water ballons at kids from roof top undercover : Priceless..!!!!!

Adious

P.S : I dont like kids no matter who feels however cute they are. I was.. doesn mean the rest of the are.

P.P.S : This post may make no sense to most.. I wasnt aiming at that either. I mean when was nay of my post aimed at any of such feat.

P.P.S.S : btw.. am back..blogging..!!!*condtions apply*

#NOW PLAYING BACK IN BLACK by AC/DC

Back in black
I hit the sack
I've been too long I'm glad to be back
Yes I'm, let loose
From the noose
That's kept me hanging about
I keep looking at the sky
'Cause it's gettin' me high
Forget the herse 'cause I'll never die
I got nine lives
Cat's eyes
Usin' every one of them and running wild
'Cause I'm back
Yes, I'm back

Something like Love

The night is dark,

its half past eleven.... 

I was trying to figure out,

exactly where and when..????

The light across my street grooving

to the dancing fire flies... 

holding some moments of time,

thinking where it all applies...!!!!

living my life in moments,

some big and some small...

I have been building memories,

bigger than the local town hall.

and when I turn back and

look at my life behind..

there is a bit of you,

everywhere that I find...!!!! :)

so I sat thinking

on how it all began...

everything seemed so perfect,

like the heavens opened up,

angels stood n sang...!!!

so here are some lines,

I write.. hoping you would smile my dear.

life swells up to dance,

the moment you giggle and cheer..!!! :)

these words dont express

all that I want that I mean or want to say...

I hope to see you soon...

atleast before the month of may...!!! :)

every moment,

I wanna tell you how much..

I miss you everyday....

that everything around me,

is slowing loosing its life,

turning black white or grey...!!! :(

your eyes hold a world within,

loosing me within in a way hard to find..

I might lie about this...

but you thoughts are the first and last thing

that is running in my mind...!!!

"don't wish for anything.. 

for the wishes come true" the chineese say...

if thats for real..

then being with you all my life,

is what I would all ask and pray...!!! :) :) :) 

"It's a lot like love if you think about it, because it’s there, beautiful, just happy to be there, win or lose, just doing whatever they can to overcome obstacles and succeed It's just... well, it's just as beautiful as love."

~not original but made me write this.

NOW PLAYING : BAATEIN KUCH ANKAHEE SI, KUCH ANSUNI SI HONE LAGI ~ FROM LIFE IN A METRO..!!!

P.S : Its a stupid attempt to rhyme some words and write a poem, please ignore if you dint like it.

P.P.S : oh yess, am still alive.. got caught up with lots of things but.. still alive. So this post is my formal announcement of me still being here. :P 
P.P.S.S : Its good to be back..!!!! :D *Cool Face*

The crossroads

Hey guys, This post is a part of the Blublubling's Awesome April Inspirations.

My heart does bleed,

with a thousand words.

I only wish if you could,

hear all those.

I see your dreams,

with my open eyes.

souls we shared,

not just our lives.

My love for you,

I kept it so divine,

but with you walking away

I feel worser than swine.

I look at my life

turned so meaning less.

hard it seems now,

to clean up away this mess.

so, here I stand

at this cross road

setting sun,

and darkness around

my hope finds this song....

I sing it aloud... that,

"I'll find my place back in my life,

I'll find it once again...

I wish you would stand by my side..

when I find it once again

you walked away,

draining my happiness..

I called your name,

searched all places we met.. but found

guilt, anger, pain and hate.

mixed with my loneliness..

friends, foes no clarity,

I find now no difference.

the feeling of this life as charity

and let to live as penance.

I walk with these thoughts,

in my mind,

I stand at the cross road

where all that i find,

apart from deathly pain around..

is this song..

my song..

which I will sing as long as I can..

"I'll find my place back in my life,

I'll find it for me again.

I don't wanna be what the world wants me to be..."

here that's all I sing.

( But deep inside I know,

There is no place anyone can show,

where i feel safe, strong and warm

I wish I could be there, covered in your arm)

I'll find my place back in my life,,

Since I cant be there in your arms anymore.

I'll find it again..

for you my love.. for you.. for sure....!!!